Page 5 of When I'm Gone

“Shut the fuck up.”

Okay, got it. He’s not even being loud, he doesn’t have to. I know that tone, the one where his words are sharp enough to cut. I’m in trouble.

“Why don’t you appreciate me anymore? I work day and night to provide for your lazy ass. You don’t contribute a dime to this beautiful apartment you just had to have.” He picked out the apartment. He picked out the city, too, but now’s not the time. “All I fucking ask for is a boyfriend to come home to who appreciates the sacrifices I’ve made. Is that too much for you?”

I push myself up and prop my back against the headboard. If he wants my attention, he can have it. It’s not like I was actually asleep or anything. “I do appreciate you,” I insist.

It’s not even a lie. Our life is beautiful. He takes me out to eat at fancy restaurants, buys me spa weekends for my birthday. He saved me when everyone else turned their backs on me, whisked me away to a new city so I could start over and not risk getting hurt by running into my parents.

“That’s a fucking lie and you know it, Easton. I needed you tonight and you couldn’t be bothered. What kind of appreciation is that, huh?”

“I’m sick,” I croak.

That makes him laugh, insincere and brittle. “Yeah, you look so fucking sick.”

If he was here twenty minutes ago when I was puking my guts up, he wouldn’t be saying that. But I have to fix it, he’s all I have.

“Aaron, I’m sorry. Let’s just go to bed,” I offer.

His answer is clipped. “Fine.”

He doesn’t move to get up, so I get up to turn out the light, swaying on my feet from the dizziness muddling my balance. When I miraculously make it back into our plush king bed, I breathe a sigh of relief. I just want to be held and sleep for a week; that’ll make me feel better. Tears spring to my eyes when, after fumbling around in his nightstand for a minute, he settles down and wraps his arm around me.

Exhaustion weighs heavily, and sleep threatens to take me down quickly. My body starts to relax, but then his slick fingers tease my crease and I can’t help but tense up.

“Please, I don’t feel good. I can’t.”

I can hear the shake in my voice, and I know he can too because he chuckles in my ear. “Be quiet, doll,” he soothes.

It has the opposite effect, causing my stomach to roll. “Please,” I choke out. My eyes are damp for some reason, and I’m so cold.

He’s done teasing, he forces one finger in me. I swallow a cry; he hates when I make noise. Aaron is fast, and I don’t feel ready when he rolls away. My body wants to run but I know I can’t. There’s nowhere to go.

When the blunt head of his cock presses against my hole, my only choice is to try and relax. It’ll hurt so much worse if I don’t. Everywhere already aches from the fever; I don’t want to make it worse. The angle is awful, and I’m so focused on keeping the vomit out of my throat, my dick never even gets hard. He isn’t rough, he’s too drunk, and I’m grateful for it. He doesn’t allow clothes in bed, says it’s unsanitary, sowhen he shudders through his release and finally pulls out and rolls away, my chills get even worse.

My pillow is soaked with tears and my thighs are quickly becoming sticky as they dry, but getting up is more than I’m capable of, so I close my eyes and hope my dreams are better than this.

~~~

The next morning, my alarm going off is like a jackhammer to my skull. I shut it off quickly, so it doesn’t wake my boyfriend sleeping next to me. He doesn’t have to be up for work for an hour so he’ll get mad if I wake him up too soon.

He works so hard; he needs the extra rest.

I still feel woozy as hell with the added benefit of being covered in dry sweat and cum. The fever must have broken at some point during the night, but I’m willing to bet it’s back. Fucking hell. This bug going around is kicking my ass.

Stumbling to the bathroom takes a lot more energy than it should, so I hurry to get the shower on and warmed up. The marble tiles are fucking freezing and I want to feel heat for fuck’s sake. This room sold the apartment when Aaron and I toured it six months ago. It has a rainfall shower head and two detachable ones. My family wasn’t exactly jump roping with the poverty line when I was growing up but I still haven’t gotten used to having this much luxury. There’s a grocery store in the basement of our building—who the hell ever thought of that genius idea.

We never stay in one place for long, but we’re up and down the east coast reliably. I sometimes wish we’d put down some roots so I could go back to school and get a job, but Aaron’s work is unpredictable and he enjoys spoiling me. Having a car would be nice, not that I need one, I guess, when he’s so meticulous about getting us a place in a walkable area and having as many amenities as he can find.

Overall, things are fine. I feel like a different person after I spend an indecent amount of time in the hot water. After I get out, I move quickly to get ready for the day. If his breakfast isn’t ready when he wakes up, both of us are gonna have a bad day.

Dressed, I pad quietly back through the bedroom, breathing a quiet sigh of relief when I see his sleeping form on the far side of the bed. He likes his coffee fresh, so the machine isn’t set to turn on for another fifteen minutes, so while I wait, I start chopping peppers, onions, and mushrooms for Aaron’s eggs.

I hate breakfast, so I only ever make enough for him. I have to take a breather halfway through cooking because my energy levels are still garbage, but I’ll be fine. Once he’s gone to work, I’ll have the day to myself so I can rest. My ass is uncomfortably sore, but that’s not exactly unusual. He’s a really sexually active guy, so what am I supposed to say? No? I can manage a little soreness if it makes him happy.

Just about the time I’m plating up a steaming plate of eggs, bacon, and toast, Aaron comes into the kitchen already dressed in a nice shirt and tie with his suit jacket over his arm. His brown eyes go soft when he sees me. That used to make my heart flutter, I don’t know when it stopped, but suddenly noticing it doesn’t happen anymore makes me feel weird. Unsteady.

“Doll, this looks amazing. Thank you.”

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