Page 90 of When I'm Gone

She makes a rude sound that has me biting back a laugh. “You could have had me fooled with the way you’re sittingthere, wallowing right in front of my eyes like I wouldn’t notice.”

“Mother, you are in a hospital bed. Can we focus on that, maybe, and not worry about me?”

If I thought the sound she made a minute ago was rude, it has nothing on the flat look she levels my way. “Mom.” I sigh helplessly.

She opens her mouth, probably to force me into telling her what she wants to know, but chatter in the hallway has both of us snapping our heads to the door. To save the day, in comes the whole circus; baby and all.

Parker notices Mom’s awake first, whacking Emerson solidly in the chest to silence whatever he was in the middle of saying. A chorus of mom, nana and honey fills the room as I vacate her bedside so they can swarm like flies.

They’re careful, but one by one, they hug her. Dad lingers by her head, gazing at her like he’s never seen her before and is falling in love all over again.

I really fucking miss Easton.

Logan materializes next to me. “Hey, any chance you want to take your niece to find her some food? Her babysitter canceled, and I was so frazzled from being late back to the hospital that I didn’t think we had time to stop. I was going to come check on Mom then get something for her, but you’re here… and pleaseeee?”

She really doesn’t have to beg or give me an explanation like that, but I do get a slight amount of enjoyment from seeing her squirm. I pretend to consider it while she gives me her best puppy eyes. She should know that look never works on me. I’m much easier to bribe with uncle-niece time. “Yeah, I can do that,” I say eventually.

“Ugh. You’re just the best. Thank you!” She scoops up Sage and passes her my way.

She grins, toothy and big enough to split her face in half. “Hi, kiddo. Want to come with me to find some food?”

“Yep!” she announces happily, and we’re off. Now, the real problem is what the hell do you feed a toddler in a hospital?

Oh well, I’ll figure it out.

“Wait up!” I spin around to see Emerson rushing our way.

He just got here. “What’s up?”

My youngest brother raises an eyebrow at me. “I’m coming with you. I told Logan we’d take her out somewhere.”

Sage wiggles down, insisting on holding each of hands so she can swing between us. “You don’t have to come if you want to hang out with Mom for a bit.”

I feel bad even saying it because Sage is so damn happy with the arrangement. She’s giggling up a storm. “I’m good with you guys,” Em says.

The ability to go back in time and undo whatever act of evil I must have committed to become this family’s de facto therapist would come in real handy right about now. “Why don’t you want to see Mom, Em?”

“Nana not feeling good,” Sage reminds us.

Emerson shrugs his shoulders in agreement. “Oregano is right, she’s not feeling good, and besides, there’s a car seat in my car so we can take the kid somewhere she’ll actually eat.”

Foolproof logic, if you ask me. This is fine. “What do you want to eat, Basil?”

She shoots me a dirty look, even though Em just did the same thing and it was okay then, and decides she wants chicken.

Nice and vague. I can work with that. Emerson is quiet as we load the kid up and get to the restaurant, but so am I. Sage is completely unaware of our internal struggles, so is more than happy to tell us about her best friend at daycare who will never let her use the green play-dough. Real tragic stuff.

After we order our food, Emerson gives me a funny look. “So, what’s up with you? I know why I’m bummed out, but why you?”

This is probably where I should be honest right? “Well,” I hedge. Em waits curiously. The waitress appears with our food, buying me a moment. After making sure Sage is set up, I go on. “Easton’s test was this morning, and I haven’t heard anything from him in hours. I’m worried something is wrong.”

My brother considers this as he chews. “Any chance he’s just sleeping it off? Everyone kind of had a long night. I’m sure he’s wiped.”

I hate it but the kid has a point. I’m operating on nothing but energy drinks and an age old fear of being trapped in a room with doctors. It’s not exactly going well. I’ve reached a concerning point of exhaustion where I can’t feel my face and all of my brain functions that have been deemed non-critical have simply turned off. “Yeah, maybe.”

“You know, Park said that you guys are disgustingly in-sync with each other. What’s your gut saying?”

I move my food around on the plate. “That something really fucking bad happened, and he needs me.”

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