Page 84 of When I'm Gone

I shake my head. “This can’t be happening. Mom is fine. She’s always fine.”

Easton’s pretty blue eyes swim with tears. “She is going to be okay. But Logan needs your help holding everything together. You have to go. I found a flight and if you hurry, you should make it just in time.”

“Without you?” Why that’s the part that sticks out to me, who the fuck knows.

He smiles sadly. “My test is tomorrow, love. But if you need me, I can try to take it another time.”

My answer is immediate. “No. You’ve worked so hard for this, sweetheart. You stay. I’ll be okay.”

He nods and swipes his thumbs along my cheekbones. “You will be. Come one, you don’t want to miss your flight. There’s not another one until tomorrow morning and Logan needs some backup as soon as you can be there.”

It’s a blur of activity as I get dressed and make sure Brady knows what’s going on so he can make sure Easton gets to his test tomorrow.

I have no idea how long I’m going to be in Chicago, Iguess that depends on Mom, so packing is weird. Eventually, I just call it good and give up. Easton follows me to the car, barefoot in nothing but a pair of tiny shorts and my hoodie. Leaving him feels wrong, unsettling almost. I try to shake it off because it’s important that he’s here for tomorrow, and I’ve been fine on my own for my entire life.

But there’s something wrong with my mom, and the person who makes things okay isn’t going to be there with me.

“Hey,” he murmurs, squeezing my hand. “She’s in good hands. The best, according to Logan. She’s so tough, it’s going to be fine, and you’ll be back home before you know it.”

Home. Easton has really changed the meaning of the word. He took the four walls around this house and demolished them in favor of something that makes me feel like I belong here. “Easton, I—” The three tricky words almost slip out, probably would have if Easton hadn’t kissed me.

“I know, Chase. I do. But you’re going to miss your flight.”

When I see the time, I curse. He’s right. I press another kiss to his lips and throw my bag in the passenger seat. That slimy feeling about leaving him still lingers deep in my gut, but it’s not like I have much of a choice. I’ve just got to fucking do it.

This time, it’s Easton who sneaks in one last kiss. “Go, Chase.”

“Yeah,” I mumble against his mouth. “I am.”

He says one more time, “I know, love. When you come home, okay?”

He knows what I was about to say. He knows, and he’s not running. I can give him more than a hurried declaration in the fucking driveway, he deserves better than that. Watching him disappear in my rearview mirror, smaller and smaller until he’s gone from my sight, I’m certain that I’veforgotten something important. Something I can’t live without.

~~~

The flight to Chicago and getting to the hospital is a blur of anxious energy that leaves me feeling scraped raw and on edge. Scenarios are running through my head at blindingly fast rates, too quick to even identify, but they all make the sinking feeling in my stomach worse so they’re probably not good.

The Uber drops me off in front of the emergency room, but before I can walk in, there’s a sound that makes me pause. One I recognize. Logan squeaks like a mouse when she’s trying not to cry too loud, and I swear that’s what I just heard.

Sure enough, following the sound leads me straight to her, pacing nervously and pulling on the roots of her hair. “Lo,” I say gently, worried about startling her.

My sister whips around to face me, making my eyes start to burn when I see the black trails of mascara running down her face. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Logan so visibly scared. I only have about a second to process before she launches at me. I stumble back a step but manage to keep us upright. The hug is tighter than should be possible considering she’s pixie-sized, but it about breaks my ribs. “She’s gonna be okay,” I mumble with my cheek resting on the top of her head.

She laughs, but it’s far from a happy one. “Fuck, Chase. If she’s not, I’m not ready for this.”

“Other mom’s can do this. Not ours. She’ll be okay. She just needed to scare the shit out of us so we never miss a holiday or something.”

This time, her laugh is a little closer to the one I’m used to, but it’s short-lived. “We should go in. Em’s a fucking mess, and I can’t talk to him.”

“And you think I can?”

Her eyes roll hard as we walk through the automatic doors. “Can you please give up this I’m bad with people shtick you’ve got going? You’re literally one of the most thoughtful people I know, it just makes you uncomfortable because you worry you let people down but you’re always exactly what they need.”

“Damn. You must really be having a bad day if you’re saying nice things about me,” I tease, locking my arm around her shoulders as we wander the halls of the hospital.

Logan makes a pained sound. “Don’t make me do it again. Just work your magic with Emerson, because my instinct says to shake him, and I really don’t think that will help.”

It might, knowing Emerson, but she’s been stressed and scared for hours. If she wants me to deal with Em, I can do that. We find everyone taking up residence in one of the private waiting areas, all in various shades of fucked-up. Well, except Sage, who is knocked out cold in Emerson’s death grip. Parker and Dad stand to engulf me in a bear hug. “I’m glad you’re here, son,” Dad tells me roughly.

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