Page 40 of When I'm Gone

Fuck, I love coming home.

My plate gets piled high, and everything is steaming hot and delicious. Dad spoils us. Everyone has moved out, leaving just him and Mom at home, which they love, but he’s happy when he can get the bunch together for a home-cooked meal again. Parker and Emerson alternate from an apartment Park is sharing with his roommate, and the extra bedroom at Logan’s place so she can work nights and have one of them there with Sage.

I think it’s weird as fuck that neither of them have a permanent bedroom all to themselves, but it works for them, so I guess more power to them. Paying one-fourth of rentevery month probably outweighs the hassle of all the back and forth.

“You were supposed to start back to work the other day, right, Lo?” I ask.

She hurries to swallow so she can answer. “Yeah, but the paint was still drying, and the reopening got postponed for the night so I said I’d just wait until after this weekend to start back.”

Easton looks curious, like he wants to ask so I just fill him in. “Logan dances at a strip club.”

He blushes a little as his dimple pops out. “Oh. That’s cool,” he mumbles softly. His voice isn’t all the way back to normal yet, but he means it. Some people are real assholes about her being a stripper, but Easton seems more intrigued than anything.

“Until I’m done with school,” Logan adds.

Easton moves eggs around on his plate before deciding on a strawberry instead. “What are you studying?” His voice doesn’t carry well over the clatter but Logan either reads his lips or just takes a shot in the dark and happens to nail it.

“So, I’m almost done with my bachelor’s in Environmental Engineering. I haven’t decided if I’m going for a master’s, but I guess I don’t have to yet. It sucks being the last one in school though. I’m ready to be done.”

Easton’s eyes widen as he looks around the table. “All of you have gone to college and graduated?”

I’m tempted to ask if he ever finished high school, but it would probably come across as a dig if I did in front of everyone else, especially now. Emerson answers him. “Yep, I’m the most recent. I graduated last month. Now the only one left is Lo, but she obviously has to go at a different pace.”

“Motherhood will do that to you,” she quips. “We wouldn’t change a damn thing though, would we, munchkin?”

Sage agrees easily, even though I’m pretty sure she’s paying too much attention to her food to know what we’re talking about. “No way, Mommy.”

Easton lets the conversation fall away from him and stabs the smallest bit of egg. He tries to get it down, and you’d think he was trying to swallow a razor blade. It takes three times before he manages it, all while he’s obviously trying not to puke.

Fucking hell, I’m such an idiot. Easton doesn’t like breakfast food.

“We’ll leave right now to go get you something else,” I murmur.

Panic flashes in his eyes. “What? No, I’m fine.”

“It’s my fault, sweetheart. I forgot.”

I don’t give him a chance to protest, just take our plates, scrape the rest in the garbage and put them in the dishwasher. Mom raises an eyebrow, but I thank Dad for the delicious meal, say we’ll be back in a bit, steal Emerson’s car keys, and haul Easton out the door.

CHAPTER 12

EASTON

Chase doesn’t seem to care if I’m short with him. I’m really trying not to be, but fuck. I can only take so much and I’m so exhausted. If we weren’t in Chicago, I would have already crawled in bed and not gotten out for a long time. But I’m trying so damn hard to keep it together enough so that Chase’s family doesn’t hate me and he doesn’t think I’m a worthless waste of oxygen.

I hate feeling like this. It's like an out-of-body experience. Chase is being so gracious to me, flying me out so I don’t have to be alone in Seattle with Brady, holding me when I’m falling to pieces. He moved me into his home, for fuck’s sake. I don’t want to be snippy to him, he’s fucking wonderful.

If I’m being honest with myself, I might admit that if he’s easily pushed away, I’d rather know now. I’m not strong enough to get attached and then lose him when he realizes I’m too much.

Too emotional, too dependent, too worthless. I’ve heard it all, and it’s glaringly obvious at this moment. I couldn’t just eat the fucking eggs like a normal person, instead I had to be a stuck-up asshole. Even while he’s taking time away fromhis family just for me, I still want more. If he was chatty, maybe I’d be able to stop the barrage of gruesome memories sinking their claws into my ribs.

My excitement is barely contained, threatening to overflow. It’s our two-month anniversary today, so it’s not like it’s a huge milestone, but to me it is. Before I met Aaron, a guy had never even looked at me, now I live with a great guy who loves me. He tells me every single day. I never thought I would have this, not even in my wildest dreams. But that’s what he’s been. A dream.

When I saw him at Delany’s party, I thought he was wayyy out of my league. I mean, he still is, but he wanted me. Wants me, still to this day. He’s so sophisticated and put together, a part of me will never believe he asked me to move in with him after less than a month of dating.

He said he couldn’t live without me, and I almost passed out from forgetting how to breathe.

But it’s been a little over a month of living together and two months since he asked me on our first date and took me back to his place. We’ve barely been away from each other since, unless he’s at work. Which he will be home from any second now, and he’ll see the present I made him.

---