Page 37 of When I'm Gone

He scrambles into an upright posture, nearly knocking into me. “Dear God. Please.”

Chuckling, I say, “You got it, Chaos.”

To my core, I’m a selfish guy. Probably because I’ve never felt like anyone’s first choice. I’ve made my peace with it, at least as much as I’m going to, but I enjoy giving him all this attention. He could have anyone, but it’s me that makes him feel safe enough to open up. Me that he wants to help guide him through whatever he’s trying to come to terms with. Iam, without a doubt, the least qualified person to do that, but I can learn on the job.

I will, he deserves my best, and that’s exactly what he’s going to get.

Once we’re downstairs, I send Easton outside while I make our coffee. It’s a bright, sunny day full of chirping birds and the smell of dew clinging to the grass. The vitamin D might provide him a much needed reset so he can get through the day. Plus, it gives me the added bonus of seeing his face light up when I do the most minor things for him.

“Morning, kiddo,” my dad grumbles, shuffling into the kitchen and scaring the ever-loving daylights out of me.

“Shit!” I rub my sternum trying to slow my racing heart. “When did you start moving around on cat paws?”

He smirks at me. “If you little shits would stop calling me old so much, you might notice some things.”

I’ll be on his last nerve till his dying day. “But you are old, poppy.”

His look evolves into a glare. Mission accomplished. “Sage gets away with it because she’s my granddaughter. You better fuckin’ watch it.” I shake my head and pass him a mug of black coffee. Disgusting. “Easton up?”

I nod towards the back door. “Outside.”

“He okay?”

It’s refreshing to see him acting in full dad-mode, especially about Easton. His episode really freaked me out, I know he’s tired of all of us fretting over him, but he’s the rock of our family. If something happened to him, I’m not sure how we’d all survive that. “For the most part.”

Dad only wants to help, but Easton deserves privacy. He sees right through me, of course, I’m a shit liar when it comes to my parents and I gave up trying. Being evasive is about as good as it gets when I’m trying to keep something from either of them. He sips his coffee and sighs. “Look out forthat boy, Chase. I don’t know where he was, but it wasn’t anyplace good. He’s still coming back.”

I finish making our mugs and carefully gather them up. “I’ve got it under control, pops.”

His head bobs with his approval and I guess that’s that. The backdoor squeaks when I open it, announcing my entrance. Easton is curled up on the outdoor sofa and when he sees what I’m holding, he lights up brighter than a summer’s day.

“Here you go, sweetheart.”

He takes the steaming mug from my hands eagerly and takes a large sip. The sound of happiness he makes goes straight to my cock. “Thank you, Chase. It’s perfect.”

I clear my throat and wipe the filthy thoughts from my head. Wrapping an arm around him, I say, “That’s a good look on you.”

There’s that damn bunny scrunch again. “What is?”

Christ, he’s fucking adorable. “Happy.”

He drinks greedily to avoid accepting my compliment, but snuggles deeply into my side. He turns his face into the new daylight like a sunflower, soaking up every ray he can. While he chooses not to make an appearance, I can feel my dad watching us from the kitchen window. Maybe I should tell Easton how heartbroken we all were when Brady and I were unable to find him in Florida. When we came home that summer and he told my whole family the story over the dinner table, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. We have never stopped looking, not once in the last four years. But especially before he turned eighteen. Mom and Dad had a lawyer ready to file for emergency custody the second we found him. There’s a box in the hall closet that has four years of birthday and Christmas presents unopened that are waiting on him. Mom has already pulled me aside and asked if she should give them to him, but I had no idea what to tellher. He seems so… betrayed. Of course, I want to help alleviate that, but he and Brady have to work through their animosity first.

I haven’t forgotten what he said in the car yesterday. What he thinks about his brother. I acknowledge the reality that some people are bigots behind closed doors, it’s impossible for Brady. Somewhere, somehow there’s been a massive misunderstanding, and their close relationship is a victim of it. Once it’s mended, then maybe my sweet Chaos will be able to see that he belongs with us.

Sage comes barreling out the door, full speed with a box of mismatched markers under one arm and a coloring book clutched in her tiny hand. “Eassin!”

He’s quick to put his coffee safely above our heads on the deck railing with a second to spare before she flings herself at him. “Hi, kiddo. Someone woke up on the right side of the bed this morning.”

My darling niece is either going top speed or asleep. Every morning she wakes up on the right side of the bed. “My bed only has one side. You’re silly.”

I bark a laugh. “Whatcha got there, pumpkin?”

“Colors,” she says in a flat tone that suggests she wanted to add a dumbass at the end of that if only her vocabulary allowed.

“Let’s see your book,” Easton prompts as Logan joins the fray. She says her greetings but Easton and Sage are already preoccupied as she allows him first pick of her zoo animals coloring book. High praise.

My sister is eyeing us suspiciously. I’m about to get the third degree, I just know it. She lasts all of about thirty seconds, which is about twenty-five more than I thought. “You guys seem cozy.”

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