Page 30 of When I'm Gone

He huffs, agitated little bunny. “Our argument about me being rude to Brady. Can you just get to the part where you tell me you’re disappointed in my behavior or whatever?”

Not one single time have I ever known what was going to come out of his mouth next. My confusion must show on my face. “Please, because I’m kind of freaking out over here about it and I’d rather get it over with.”

Oh, sweetheart. Who made you think like this? “Easton, your conflict with your brother is between the two of you. I’m not going to police it. If he has an issue, he can bring it up to you. I’m not the deciding factor in anything. I just want both of you to be happy.”

He twists in his seat to face me, one leg tucked under the other. “How can you say that?”

“Say what?”

He buries his face in his hands and groans loudly. “That you want him to be happy. He’s a fucking homophobe, Chase. Doesn’t that just kill you that he doesn’t accept that part of you? What does he do, just pretend you’re straight, so he’s not disgusted with you?”

“He what?” My voice borders on hysterical. I didn’t even know it could do that. “Easton, your brother is the exact opposite of a homophobe. He’s so ally; full blown safe space for all queer people, protests anti-trans legislation, has a pronoun pin on his lanyard because, I quote, ‘is essential to helping normalize the fluidity of gender for people who don’t grasp it.’ Jesus Harold Christ, the questions he askswhen I hook up with someone would make a homophobe have a stroke. I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about, Chaos.”

Holy fuck, did his jaw come unhinged? Is this why he won’t have anything to do with his brother? How in the fuck he got that idea, I don’t have the slightest clue.

Easton rubs his eyes tiredly. “I thought… Never mind. It doesn’t matter what I thought. Can we talk about something else? I’m getting a headache.”

I sigh, more confused than anything, but it seems I’m not the type to tell him no. “Sure, sweetheart. Anything in particular?”

“What’s your family like?” He sounds almost nervous, a slight quake in his voice.

“They’re a fucking mess, all of them. Mom runs an art gallery she opened with her partner who created a lot of the bigger pieces they showcase. I’m sure the two of you will have a lot to talk about. My dad is quieter, but he’s the most devoted guy I know. To my mom, to his kids, to his granddaughter—doesn’t matter who, he’s always had our back. Logan, my sister, is the one I’m closest to, I think. She’s wicked smart, a damn good mom, and annoyingly insightful so watch out for that. Then there’s Parker, he’s competitive and driven, but will do anything for anyone. Emerson is the baby, he’s sarcastic and more free spirited. Doesn’t really know where life will take him but down for the journey.”

I see them all the time, most recently when Emerson graduated college last month, but it’s never enough. This may have been a sudden trip but it’s like a balm to my soul already. Frustrations with Brady, confusion and insecurities about Easton, even just the stresses of day-to-day life—it all melts away at my parent’s house. There’s always a metric ton of food between my dad’s cooking and mom’s baking. They don’t expect adults, it’s this perfect bubble where my siblingsand I can exist in a simpler time period. The struggles are who’s turn it is to pick the movie andget out of the fucking shower before all the hot water is gone, you asshole.

A scarce commodity when I’m fighting with my best friend for the first time in the six years I’ve known him, I’m possibly the only person who can really help someone I’m quickly growing to value in a way that is absolutely terrifying.

Easton’s voice is so reserved, timid. None of the fire he’d used on Brady. I hate it. “Will they like me?”

I’m about seventy-four percent sure someone wrecked the way he sees his place in the world, and it’s climbing. “Easton, they’ll probably like you more than me. I promise.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watch him chew on the inside of his cheek. He doesn’t believe me now, but he’ll see it firsthand in a few hours.

Park sends me a picture in our family group chat just as we’re settling into our seats on the plane, captioning itlet the games begin.Easton peaks over my shoulder and scoffs. “What even is that?”

“You’ll see,” I return cryptically with a playful wink.

CHAPTER 9

EASTON

It’s cute how excited Chase is getting as we get closer. He’s trying to play it cool, but he can’t stop smiling. Even if it’s just a small one, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it leave his face. It started as soon as we began our descent into O’Hare and hasn’t left him since. Me, being the idiot I am, I’m completely charmed by it.

We didn’t check a bag, so luckily we don’t have to stand around and wait, just head straight to his family and get out of here. I’ve never really had a problem in crowds before, but there's a sinking feeling deep in my gut that he isn't done with me. It’s making staying out in public harder than I anticipated. I refused to cower; I left. That was the hard part. Now, I’m supposed to live my life in this murky after. But it’s okay, I have Chase now, and things will get easier with time.

I think they will. Surely, they will.

He leads me with an open hand on the small of my back through the throngs of people. Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere, most of all Chase Adler, but O’Hare is a massive airport and we’re all packed in here like sardines. I canappreciate his attentiveness in making sure we don’t get separated.

“Who is picking us up?”

Chase hums and checks his phone. “Looks like it’s my sister and niece. Lucky us. You’re going to love Sage.”

Dear Heavens above, the way his face lights up when he’s talking about this child is going to do me in. He’s not even my boyfriend, hell, he’s barely my friend. These butterflies in my stomach are misplaced. “How old is she?”

Mentally, I shrug. Might as well continue the torture.

His hand tightens on my back as his grin grows. “Almost three. She’s so smart, the smartest in her class at preschool. Cutest kid ever, on top of it.”

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