Page 160 of Meet Me at the Metro

The doctor turns on his heel and heads for the direction he came from, but Theo’s voice stops him.

“Please, keep him alive.”

There’s so much hurt lingering in his voice that it’s difficult to cope with. It’s proof of all the heartbreak he’s already been through at theexpense of someone he loved deeply. It’s evidence that he’s capable of reliving it all again.

“I assure you, we’re doing everything possible to do just that.”

As the doctor leaves, Evie breaks from the semi-circle the four of us have formed and goes back to restlessly pacing the rows of beige seats lining the bleak space.

“So now we have to wait even longer? We waithoursjust for them to come and tell us that we have to wait longer. I’m going to go crazy. I swear I am. I want to see him, dammit. I need to see him!”

“Hey, you’ll see him, alright?” Connor says softly, approaching her gently and offering out a steady hand. “Want to waste some time and find some coffee with me?”

What he’s really offering her is a distraction, and her relief is clear as day. It’s written in the softening of her creased brow, and the subtle change in her hardened features displays a thousand thank yous.

“Sure. Okay.”

Evie’s fingers are shaky as Connor’s hand closes around hers, but they seem to grow still as he starts leading them down the hallway.

Theo and I find a seat against the vinyl-covered chairs of the waiting room as they disappear. My eyes settle on the TV hanging high against the white-washed walls, quietly playing the news.

When a “breaking news” segment starts broadcasting on the screen, I start to wish I’d gone with them. The newscaster begins presenting the harrowing events that occurred atBangerz Uptown,and it takes everything in me not to look away.

The crime scene is empty now as they show video footage outside and inside the club, but I’ll never forget how it looked with all those people scrambling inside. I’ll never be able to rid myself of the image of Harvey in Theo’s arms or the dread I felt when I saw his wound closer.

It’s several minutes of coverage later that the reporter begins delving into who the police deem as the main suspect in the shooting, and the image of the person that appears on the screen has my blood running ice cold.

“After reviewing the nightclub’s security footage, London Police have started an active investigation to locate 22-year-old American, JohnathanWarner, who they have deemed a significant suspect in tonight’s shooting that has led to one hospitalized in critical condition. Warner is believed to have fled the scene before authorities arrived, but the search will continue until he is found. Those who know of his whereabouts are encouraged to come forward and…”

It was him.

Oh my God, it wasreallyhim.

It was John.

It was fucking John.

I don’t hear Theo saying my name as I rise from my chair. I can see it being spoken against his lips, but I can’t hear anything past the ringing in my ears. My feet are starting to move, though I don’t know where they plan on heading. I only know the waves of emotions suddenly crashing over me—smothering me.

I feel dizzy. I feel scared. I feel sick,so sickto my stomach. I feel breathless. I feel disgusted. I feel trapped. I feel betrayed. I feel helpless. I feel responsible. I feel—I feel—

So fucking guilty.

It’s my fault. It’sallmy fault.

I can’t bear that truth, can’t seem to swallow down the impossible lump in my throat. I can’t think. I can’t breathe.

I can’t fucking breathe.

“Nora, wait. Where are you going?”

The floor isn’t moving fast enough, or my feet aren’t, I’m not sure. All I know is that I can’t stay confined in the haunting quiet of this damn hospital any minute longer. I need air because I’m suffocating. I’mdrowning. I need to get the hell out of here. I need to find my way out. I need to—

“Nora, stop. Please.”

I can hardly see past the blurry tears pooling in my eyes, but I let the flares of the bright city lights ahead guide me as I hurry toward a door leading outside.

I welcome the biting pain of the freezing night air as I stumble onto a hushed alley neighboring the multi-story hospital. Theo’s arms are encasing me like a warm cocoon the second a cry begins to rip frommy throat, holding me steady as my body is wracked with tremors and my weeping manifests madly into wails.

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