Page 80 of Gratification in Gluttony

“I want him,” Toni said succinctly.

“Yes, I get that.” Gem rubbed his forehead, air whistling through his nostrils. “But what else? Do you want to date him? Is it just hooking up?”

“He’s really busy, and he was straight-up about that from the start. But he said he’d go on a date with me, after his summer school. So I’m just waiting, I guess.”

“Okay, so you’re gonna date? You know, after his life calms down a bit. But until then, you’re still hanging out and kind of hooking up?”

Toni took a second to think through Gem’s claim, then nodded. “That sounds accurate, yes.”

“But he still hasn’t told Oliver?”

Subconsciously, Toni rubbed at his chest as he shook his head. “As far as I’m aware, no. Why? That don’t matter.”

Gem’s brows rose. “Doesn’t it?”

Toni straightened and crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Gem searched for words, speaking cautiously when he finally found them. “I don’t know Jude that well, and what he does or doesn’t tell Oliver is his business. I’m not judging or making assumptions. I just find it strange that he isn’t talking to his best friend about you, especially if you’re planning to go on dates and stuff.”

“Ollie ain’t around much,” Toni said, the first hint of temper sparking in his stomach. “He’s with Liel a lot, and Jude’s super busy.”

“Okay.” Gem lowered his feet to the floor, several hands already rising in placation. “I’m not insinuating—”

“And I don’t care if Ollie knows. Like, it’s not like we’re together-together and he’s keeping it a secret,” Toni insisted.

Scratching the back of his head, Gem made a face Toni couldn’t quite discern. “I mean, isn’t that technically what a secret is? Information being withheld. If Oliver doesn’t know—”

“He’s not keeping it a secret. He just hasn’t told him yet,” Toni said stiffly.

“Okay,” Gem said, but the obvious doubt in his tone had the sparks flickering into flames.

Toni scowled, setting his jaw. “It ain’t like that.”

“Alright,” Gem said, eyes widening. “If you’re fine with that arrangement—”

Finger waving in Gem’s face, Toni stood. “Uh-uh, don’t do that. Don’t call it ‘an arrangement.’ It’s not like we’re being secretive or whatever. It’s just—”

Gem stood too and splayed his hands. “I’m not saying that.”

“But you are. You’re being judgy and—”

“I’m not being judgy! I’m just asking questions,” Gem snapped, wrapping his arms around himself as he took a step back. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Jude’s a good guy,” Toni defended, voice growing in volume.

Gem’s own anger caught then, matching Toni’s volume. “I didn’t say he wasn’t.”

“You’re acting like he hasn’t told Ollie because he’s ashamed of me or something.” Toni jabbed at Gem’s chest, and the Araknis bared his lengthening fangs, slapping Toni’s hand away before it could make contact.

“Those areyourwords, Toni, not mine. And if that’s how Jude’s making you feel, then you should tell him that.”

“I don’t feel that way,” Toni shouted, though it tasted like a lie. “You’re making him out to be some asshole, and he’s not, okay?”

“I’m not making him out to be anything,” Gem cried, upper hands grabbing at his hair, lower arms holding himself, middle hands gesturing wildly at Toni. “I’m just trying to talk to you, and you’re yelling at me. I’m on your side, Toni. I amalwayson your side.”

With a hitched breath, Gem took another step back and pressed a hand to his mouth, blinking back the moisturegathering in his largest eyes. “I just think you deserve more than being someone’s dirty, little secret,” he said so quietly Toni would have missed it if not for his stupid, impeccable hearing.

And it hurt. Toni didn’t even know why, but the words hurt.

---