Page 110 of Gratification in Gluttony

Jude stared at him like he’d lost his mind, before glowering at Tad. “Go away, Tad.”

“Stop grunting, and I will.” She pointed vaguely at the ground floor. “You’re ruining my breakfast hunt.”

“Just get outta here, you fucking psycho!” Toni roared.

Instead of being offended, Tad smiled eerily. “Careful, Toni, or else I’ll think you’re flirting. And trust me, you would not survive this.”

Honestly, Toni believed her. She was utterly terrifying.

As Tad disappeared back down the hayloft ladder, Toni and Jude released matching sighs of relief. Since the mood was officially ruined, Toni gathered their clothes, handing Jude his as he pulled his underwear, then jeans up his legs. They batted as much hay off their shirts as possible before redressing, and Toni snickered as he picked out pieces of straw from Jude’s curls.

“So are we boyfriends now?” Toni asked hopefully, and Jude blushed, rolling his eyes as he nodded.

“Sure, Toni, we can be boyfriends.”

“I like that,” Toni said as he drew Jude into a kiss. “I mean, my family’s gonna freak, given that you’re human and all, but thankfully, that don’t matter much.”

Concern flared in Jude’s eyes as he brushed hay off Toni’s shoulder. “They’re not going to, like, put a hit out on me or anything, right?”

Toni cocked his head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Okay, so my only knowledge of the Mob is TV and movies, which is probably not accurate. But I need to know if your drug-dealing family is going to come after me or something.”

“Drug-dealing? the Mob?” Toni shook his head, trying to understand. “What are you talking about?”

“Sorry, is that offensive? Like I said, I only know what I’ve seen in movies, and that was the human mafia. I have no real frame of reference for the demon mafia.”

Toni snorted a laugh. “Demon mafia? My family’s not mafia.”

And it was Jude’s turn to be entirely confused. “Yes, they are.”

“No,” Toni said, “they’re not.”

“What?” Jude demanded.

“My family’s not mafia,” Toni explained slowly. “Why would you think that?”

Jude’s eyes widened. “How could Inotthink that? You’re always talking about ‘The Family’ and how you got out because you ‘couldn’t stomach the family business.’” He splayed his hands as if to say,enough said. “How is your familynotthe Mob?”

“They’re just not. They’re dramatic, and they take the family business a little too seriously, but they’re not the Mob. To be honest, I don’t even know if we have a mob.” Toni thought about it for a moment. “I mean, maybe. But that’s more Quin’s family territory, not mine. We just sell makeup.”

“What?” Jude shouted, making Toni step back. “I thought your family sold drugs!”

Okay, now Toni was offended. “Why would you think they sell drugs?”

“Because, Toni, you told me once that your dad wasn’t ‘pushing the powder’ hard enough,” Jude said, chest heaving. “How else was I supposed to interpret that?”

“I was talking about eyeshadow,” Toni said, because honestly, that should have been obvious. “It’s our best-selling product. And Pops was all, ‘It sells itself,’ and I was like, ‘No, Pop, that ain’t how consumerism works.’ And he got mad, and then I got mad, and it ruined the whole family vacation!”

“Oh my god, Toni, you’re so ridiculous!” Jude half-laughed, half-shouted. “Everything about you and your life and your family is ridiculous. And I’m so glad your family isn’t the demon mafia.”

Wrapping his arms around his middle, like he was trying to hold himself together, Jude laughed, and Toni couldn’t help but join in. “I didn’t know you actually thought that. When Ollie mentioned it, I thought he was kidding. I thought we were doing a bit.”

Jude wiped tears from his cheeks as he guffawed. “No, Oliver genuinely believes you’re part of the mafia, and that working at the cafe is your cover.”

“That’s so stupid. Like, I’m not even smart enough to pull that kind of thing off,” Toni said, belly aching from laughter. “My family owns a very popular makeup line. My great-great noni discovered a formula for eyeshadow. Long lasting, and it doesn’t crease. It was a huge hit, and the business grew from there.”

“Then why did you leave? You act like it was such a dark, dangerous thing,” Jude asked as he used his shirt to dry his eyes.

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