Page 53 of Gratification in Gluttony

Toni turned around. “Uh, technically. But again, only my mother calls me that.”

“And me,” Gem chimed in, “but only when I’m feeling bitchy.”

Jude nodded, cocking his head as he studied Toni head to toe. “Tonus. It’s cute.”

“Oh, well, thank you,” Toni said.

“Aw.” Gem wriggled in place. “You two are so adorable. Ollie’s gonna be so excited when he hears you kissed!”

“Actually,” Jude interjected, casting a dubious look at Toni, “I haven’t talked to Oliver yet. So, if we could just be chill about this.”

“Oh,” Gem said, sounding much less enthused. “Okay.”

He met Toni’s eyes and lifted his brows as if to ask how he felt about that. To be honest, it did not feel good, but what was Toni to do about it? Oliver was Jude’s friend first, and he had a right to decide when to tell him.

“That gonna be a problem, Gem?” Toni asked.

Gem shook his head. “No, not at all! I’m a vault.”

“Uh-huh,” Jude said doubtfully.

“If the vault was made of paper,” Toni said dryly. “But just remember, Gem. I have all the dirt on you, and my revenge will be swift.”

“You don’t need to blackmail me. Honestly, I’m offended. I’m good at secrets,” Gem insisted.

“Sure,” Toni said, shaking his head at Jude to communicate hownotgood at keeping secrets Gem actually was.

“You douchebag!” Gem marched over and punched him in the shoulder. “There is, like, so much stuff you don’t even know. Because I’m a good secret-keeper.”

“I believe you,” Toni said seriously, again giving Jude a tiny head shake.

Glowering at Toni, Gem stalked to the couch and sat down, crossing all his arms over his torso. “You know what, I’m not sorry for cockblocking you anymore. I was going to leave to give you some time alone, but now I’m not. How do you like them cucumbers?”

“Apples,” Jude corrected.

“Whatever,” Gem hissed, staring Toni down with all eight eyes. “What’re you gonna do now, Toni? Fuck right in front me? Do it. See if I break first. I’ll even give unsolicited advice the whole time.”

“We’ll go to the bedroom,” Toni said nonchalantly.

“Then I’ll sing!” Gem threatened.

Toni gasped. “You bitch!”

“We’re not fucking,” Jude said.

“Aw, man, we’re not?” Toni slumped in disappointment, before scowling at the Araknis. “Are you happy now?”

Gem nodded. “Her name is Justice, and she tastes so sweet!”

“I hate you so much right now,” Toni seethed.

“Oh, boo-hoo! Cry me a fucking lake,” Gem sneered.

“River,” Jude said.

“Oh my gods, Jude, that’s not even the point!” Slapping his hands on his thighs and the couch, Gem stood. “And now I have to angry-pee, which is my least favorite kind of pee! You know, after a sad-pee.”

“You saidpeeway too many times,” Toni said.

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