Page 37 of Gratification in Gluttony

Amusement rippled through Jude’s voice as he said, “Gem’s right. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel.”

“And I feel like I don’t want you to tell me to kiss other people. Because I only wanna kiss you. Which ain’t gonna happen, and that’s fine. You have your boundaries, and I’m gonna respect it. But I still like you, and that’s on me. Okay? It’s all me, and I ain’tputting it on you or asking you for nothing. But you also can’t take that away from me. I’m allowed to like you.”

“Okay.”

“But maybe, you could just not tell me to make out with other people?”

“Okay.”

Toni traced the textured design of the wallpaper with his finger. “Okay. Thanks. I feel a lot better.”

Jude chuckled softly. “That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

“Toni?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“You know I don’t actuallywantyou to make out with other people, right? But I can’t say that.”

“Why?”

Heaving a sigh, Jude said, “You know why. The semester’s almost over, and I have a really busy summer planned, and—”

“I know all that. It’s okay, Jude. I ain’t worried about that.”

“Aren’t you? You can’t hook up at a club, even though you wanted—”

“I didn’t want to, though. That’s what I’m saying.”

“But you should want to,” Jude insisted. “Because we aren’t—Toni, we’re just—”

“Friends,” Toni finished for him, and he sighed again. “We’re friends.”

“This isn’t friends,” Jude said.

Toni flinched. “It can be. We’re just friends who wanna kiss each other. But we can’t because of circumstances beyond our control. Forbidden love. It’s very romantic, if you think about it.”

Jude’s responding laughter filled Toni’s chest with pleasure. “I think you’re very drunk.”

“I’ll be honest, it kind of snuck up on me.”

“Wait, why are you alone? Where are the others?”

With a wave at the door, Toni blew a raspberry. “I dunno. Gem was dancing up on an Avia last I saw him. And Oliver had his tongue down Lupe’s throat. Which made me proud and a little nauseous, though the nausea could be the alcohol talking.”

“I think his name is Liel.”

“I don’t care.”

“How about you head back out there and find them. Maybe go home and sleep this off?”

Toni pouted. “I guess.”

“And Toni?” Jude whispered, like he was sharing a secret.

“Yeah?”

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