Page 36 of Gratification in Gluttony

He shouldered his way past the people crowded outside the back rooms—which everyone knew were reserved for fucking—and pushed into one. It was very dark and quiet, and Toni ignored the annoyed and offended shouts from the queueing people he’d cut in front of.

“I’m just making a call. Two seconds!” he promised as he shut and locked the door. “I’ll be quick. You can come in here very soon.”

He chuckled to himself at the accidental, but no less hilarious, double entendre as he pulled out his phone. “You cancomein here. Ha, ’cause it’s a sex room, get it?” he asked the empty room. “Yeah, you get it. I should’ve been a fucking comedian. Sometimes, I even slay myself.”

The light of his phone blinded him for a second as he woke the screen, and he blinked away the blurry vision as he searched for Jude’s contact. Fuck, how much had he actually drank? He felt way more inebriated than he should have.

But that didn’t matter. The important thing was calling Jude immediately.

The phone rang for what felt like forever, but eventually, the line clicked.

“Hello?” Jude answered, sounding tired.

“I don’t want to kiss other people,” Toni said in lieu of a greeting.

“What? Toni?”

“Yes, of course it’s Toni. Who else would be calling you from Toni’s phone? Unless it’s not—” He pulled the phone away and scrutinized it. “No, it’s my phone. I just checked.”

“Where are you?” Jude demanded.

Glancing around his dark surroundings, Toni said, “Specifically? A sex room. But I’m not doing any sex. I could have, but I’m not. Because I didn’t want to.”

Air whistled through Jude’s nose. “Okay. That’s good. You shouldn’t have sex if you don’t want to.”

“I know. Consent is very important to me, especially my own consent.”

“That’s great,” Jude said, tone lifting in confusion. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. I mean, I’m mostly okay. I think?” Toni rubbed at the space between his eyes, trying to get his thoughts in order. It was more difficult than it should have been. “I thought I was okay. But then he was all, ‘I’m gonna fuck you while she watches,’ and I was like, ‘whoa, cowboy, calm down.’ And I just… I didn’t want that.”

There was a beat of silence before Jude asked, voice hard, “Toni, listen to me. Are you safe right now? Or is someone trying to fuck you against your will?”

“No, I’m telling the story all wrong. I’m safe, and no one is molesting me. I’m fine. I’m also not fine, but that’s for a very different reason.”

“Are you drunk?” Jude asked next.

“Yes, though it was accidentally done.”

Jude’s chuckle dripped through Toni’s veins and lit up his blood. “Okay, so you’re currently in a sex room at the club, where no one is trying to fuck you, even though they wanted to? And you’re fine but not fine?”

It took Toni a second, but he finally nodded. “That about sums it up, yes.”

“Well, that’s clear as mud.” The human sucked his teeth, before sighing. “Toni, why did you call me?”

“Because it wasn’t you,” Toni said.

“What wasn’t me?”

“The guy. I mean, he was hot. And she was also hot. I could have been the filling in a very hot sandwich, which is honestly one of my favorites things to be. But it wasn’t you, okay? And I just… I don’t want to kiss other people. You told me to, and I tried, but I just don’t want to.”

Another beat of silence. “You shouldn’t ever do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“I know. But your text hurt my feelings, okay? So, I wanted to be stupid and petty. Turns out, my feelings wouldn’t let me, which was very inconvenient.”

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” Jude whispered, and Toni winced.

“I know that, and I ain’t saying this to make you feel bad or to make it your problem. It’s not. It’s all me, baby. But it is how I feel, and I’m allowed to feel my feelings. Gem told me so, and he doesn’t lie to me.”

---