Page 67 of Redeeming Melodies

He lifted his head, looking at me with those green eyes that seemed to see right through my carefully constructed walls. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I reached up without thinking, brushing away the wetness on his cheek. My thumb lingered there, tracing the constellation of freckles I'd been trying not to memorize. "Tommy's amazing. And you-"

I stopped, caught by the vulnerability in his expression, the way he leaned almost imperceptibly into my touch.

"Speaking of amazing," I managed a small smile, trying to lighten the moment before I drowned in the depth of feeling between us, "been wondering about this mysterious career of yours. You some kind of rock star I don't know about?"

His laugh came surprised but real, warming something in my chest. "Close, but not quite." A playful glint entered his eyes, replacing some of the sadness. "I used to race. World Racing Champion, to be specific."

"Champion huh?" The genuine shock in my voice made him grin. "Well shit, that explains the speeding ticket."

"In my defense, your roads are very tempting."

"That what you're calling it?" But I was smiling too, heart lifting at seeing some of his usual spark return.

Our eyes met, and something shifted in the air between us. The playful moment slid into something deeper, more charged. His hand was still in mine, thumb tracing patterns that sent electricity up my arm.

"Jake." My name came out barely above a whisper, loaded with everything we hadn't been saying.

The stars wheeled overhead as I looked at him - really looked. At the way moonlight caught his freckles, how his eyes held bothstrength and vulnerability, the slight tremble in his lower lip that begged to be kissed.

Fuck it.

The kiss felt inevitable, like gravity or fate or some other force I'd never believed in until now. His lips were soft, hesitant at first, then pressing closer as surprise melted into acceptance. My free hand cupped his jaw, thumb brushing his cheek where tears had fallen earlier.

Time stopped. The world narrowed to this: the warmth of his mouth, the way his fingers tightened in mine, the quiet sound he made when I deepened the kiss - something between a sigh and surrender.

Then he pulled back, and reality crashed in with all the subtlety of a tidal wave.

"I-" He stopped, those expressive eyes now clouded with something like regret, like fear. "I should sleep. Tomorrow's going to be..."

He didn't finish, but he didn't have to. Tomorrow he was losing Tommy for a month. Tomorrow everything would change.

"Right." My voice came out rougher than intended, heart cracking along invisible fault lines. "Of course."

He stood, movements uncertain for the first time since I'd known him. "Jake, I-"

"It's okay." But it wasn't. Nothing about this was okay. "Get some rest."

He nodded, taking a step toward the house before pausing. "Thank you. For listening. For everything."

Then he was gone, leaving me alone with the stars and the ghost of his kiss on my lips, the weight of everything unsaid pressing against my chest like a physical thing.

Fuck.

The wine bottle sat forgotten in the grass, nearly empty now. Like my chest. Like this whole night.

Had I just made everything worse? Crossed a line that couldn't be uncrossed? Taken advantage of his vulnerability when he needed a friend, not... whatever the hell this was becoming?

The stars offered no answers. Just kept spinning overhead, indifferent to the way my world kept tilting on its axis, to the way my heart felt simultaneously fuller and more hollow than it ever had.

First Ramirez's betrayal, now this. Some cop I was - couldn't even trust my own judgment anymore. But the memory of Elliot's lips against mine burned like a brand, like a promise, like everything I'd never known I wanted until it was right here, slipping through my fingers.

The way he'd pressed closer before pulling away. How right it had felt, even if just for a moment. Like pieces of a puzzle I hadn't known was incomplete finally clicking into place.

Tomorrow would bring what it brought. Custody battles and criminal investigations, all the complicated pieces of our separate lives colliding in ways we couldn't control.

But right now, sitting alone in my backyard with the taste of wine and possibility on my tongue, I let myself feel everything I'd been trying to ignore.

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