Page 68 of Redeeming Melodies

Want. Need.

The night kept its secrets, wrapping around me like a promise I wasn't sure I was ready to make.

Or maybe one I'd already made without realizing it, the moment a certain ex-racer and his son had walked into my life and made my house feel like home.

RACING HEARTS

Leaving places never got easier. Trust me, I'd left enough of them to know. But pulling out of Jake's driveway at five in the morning, Tommy passed out in the passenger seat still wearing his pajamas, this one felt like my chest was being ripped open.

I was a fucking coward for not saying goodbye to Jake. After that kiss the night before, everything was too raw, too real. The memory of his lips on mine, the way his hand had cupped my jaw, how right it felt - shit I couldn't think about that then. Not with a four-hour drive ahead and my son sleeping beside me, completely unaware his world was about to be turned upside down. Again.

Tommy stirred in his sleep, curling tighter around his backpack like it was some kind of shield. He'd packed it himself the night before - his favorite books, the photos we took at the falls, even that stupid hermit crab shell he'd named after Jake. Kid had no idea how much that name choice messed with my head right then.

The sun was barely thinking about rising as we hit the highway. Everything felt wrong - leaving Oakwood Grove, driving my kid back to a place that was slowly crushing his spirit.But what choice did I have? One month. Just had to survive one month of Vanessa's games.

My hands kept clenching on the steering wheel, knuckles going white every time I thought about her smug face when she'd filed that emergency motion.

Tommy whimpered in his sleep - the kid always knew when we were getting close to his mom's, like his body remembered the tension even when his mind was elsewhere.

"Hey buddy." I reached over, smoothed down that wild bedhead he got from me. "We're almost there."

His eyes fluttered open, green as mine but so much clearer. Innocent still, despite everything we'd put him through. "Already?"

"Yeah, sport. Almost time."

"Can't we just..." He trailed off, picking at a loose thread on his pajama sleeve. Old habit when he was scared to ask for what he wanted.

"I know." My voice came out rougher than intended. "I know, buddy. But it's just temporary, remember? We've got our house waiting for us, right by the ocean. And Sheriff Jake said you could help plant the garden once you're back."

Jake. Even saying his name sent something warm and terrifying through my chest. Last night under the stars, wine making everything soft around the edges, the way he'd listened without judging.

Focus, Blue. Your kid needs you steady right now.

The familiar buildings of Manhattan started rising around us, all glass and steel. Tommy was getting quieter with each block, shrinking into himself the way he did when he was trying to be brave.

Pulling into Vanessa's building's parking garage felt like entering enemy territory. Everything was too shiny, too perfect, too much like the life I used to think I wanted. The valetrecognized me - of course he did, probably got regular updates from Vanessa about the ex-husband who gave up racing to become a small-town nobody.

"Ready, champ?" I killed the engine but made no move to get out. Neither did Tommy.

"Do you think..." He stopped, those green eyes filling with tears he was trying so hard to hold back. "Do you think Sheriff Jake will forget about me? Before I come back?"

"Come here." I pulled him across the console into my lap, not caring that he was getting too big for this. "Nobody's forgetting you, okay? Not me, not Jake, not anyone in Oakwood Grove. You've got people there now, buddy. Real people who see you for exactly who you are."

"But Mom says-"

"I know what Mom says." I pressed my face into his hair, breathing in that kid-shampoo smell while I still could. "But I need you to remember something, okay? You're not alone anymore. Even when we're apart, I'm right here. Missing you. Loving you. Counting the days until you're home."

His arms tightened around my neck, and fuck if this wasn't killing me. "Remember our secret code?" I whispered, feeling him nod against my shoulder. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" His voice came muffled, face still buried in my shirt.

"Love."

"Love who?"

"Love you more than racing." We finished together, and for a second I could pretend this was just another morning, just another father-son moment instead of a goodbye that was going to haunt me for the next month.

The elevator ride to Vanessa's floor stretched forever. Tommy's hand stayed locked in mine, his backpack clutched against his chest with his other arm. Every floor brought uscloser to that pristine apartment with its stark white walls and endless rules about keeping things perfect.

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