Page 52 of Power of the Mind

Afire ignited in my belly and spread through my veins. Kissing Tallus was like walking on the surface of the sun. Incinerating. Blistering. It had the power to reduce me to ash. It was like tumbling blindfolded over a cliff. It was the feeling you got when the roller coaster crested the hill and plummeted down the other side. It was the fear of being lost and the joy of being found.

I had no words.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t move.

But I didn’t know how to participate or what was expected of me, so I stood there like an idiot and let it happen, proving the inadequacies I’d been trying to vocalize to him since we met.

It had been over a decade since I’d felt another man’s mouth on mine. I’d adamantly never allowed it, so my experience was limited. I’d kissed a grand total of two people in my life. Once, at a party in high school, when I was so close to blackout drunkthat by morning, I’d convinced myself it hadn’t really happened. Once, on my twenty-first birthday, with the only man I’d ever dated. The following six months were a nightmare. We’d never kissed again after the first night. He was a man who’d done more harm than good to my already severely damaged mental health. I didn’t like to think about him.

But Tallus.

Tallus had starred in all my dreams for the past ten months. Yet, as he kissed me, I stood immobile, unable to participate. His mouth moved on mine. His tongue grazed my lips as he tried and failed to encourage me from my shell. After a good thirty seconds of paralysis, I found the wherewithal to mimic his motions, knowing it was glaringly obvious I had zero skill when it came to this sort of thing.

It was why I’d never let it happen. How many times had I stopped him in the past? A few. He hadn’t tried in a while.

But he caught me off guard, and for the first time, I didn’t dodge the advance. I didn’t hold him back. I didn’t tell him no.

But I was clumsy, and my awkwardness showed. My shame was suffocating.

The kiss lasted less than a minute before Tallus, hands still cradling my face, pulled back. He smiled lazily, and it shone out his eyes, more green than gold or brown. He hummed with pleasure.

“You let me kiss you.”

I grunted in affirmation.

“Was it so bad?”

I didn’t know how to answer. In my opinion, it was awful, much like the embarrassing sex we fumbled through when I showed up at his house, not because of Tallus or his skills, but because of me and my hang-ups.

His thumb brushed my bottom lip. “D? Are you upset?”

“No.”

“Was it okay?”

“Was… good,” I rasped, unable to find more words.

Another smile. “Want to try it again now that you’re more prepared?”

“Yes,” I croaked.

So he kissed me again. It wasn’t much better. My hesitancy showed, but I let Tallus be the guide and tried desperately to keep up without appearing helpless.

When the soft glide of his tongue came in contact with mine, I almost whimpered. My knees wanted to buckle. How could a kiss be so humbling?

It ended too soon. I was getting my feet beneath me when Tallus pulled back. He released my face and stepped away. “I’m going to head home.”

“You’re… What?”Home? Why?“But I thought…”

“We’re going to work on this.” He swung a finger between us. “I need you to step outside your comfort zone. You don’t need to be perfect, but if you want something with me, you need to try. Make a tiny effort. Stop treating me like a nameless hookup from Spark.”

That stung, but I deserved it because it was exactly what I’d been doing.

“Don’t be afraid to touch me, D. I want it. I like it. Ineedit.”

He collected his shirt, tie, socks, and shoes. At the door, he turned back. I hadn’t moved, struck dumb by the kiss and his words.

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