Page 51 of Power of the Mind

Was it a trick question? He wouldn't have to ask if he could truly read my mind.

I nodded without hesitation.

He smirked. “I thought so. Spoiler alert. I like it too. You may not believe me, but I’m very attracted to you, Diem.”

He was right. I didn’t believe him.

“But here’s the thing. Are you listening?”

I nodded.

A long pause ensued before he continued. “I. Need. More.”

Each word was an ice pick in my chest, gouging away chunks of my frail humanity and leaving me critically wounded. I couldn’t. Didn’t he know he was asking for the impossible?

“I need—”

I peeled his hand away from my mouth before he could continue. “I can’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Tallus… I want to, but—”

“Stop right there.You want to. You just said it. That’s what matters.”

I growled under my breath. “I want to,but—”

“No buts. The sentence ends right there. Stop making excuses.”

“They aren’t excuses.”

“They are.Whycan’t you? What is thebutthat is stopping you? If you want to touch me or kiss me or take me to bed properly like I know you do, why don’t you? What are you afraid of?”

The walls were closing in, and Tallus was too close. His presence sucked the air from the room. I was trapped in my own home. In my own skin. Gently, because god help me, I never wanted to hurt him, I moved him from my space and rose.

What was I afraid of? Easy. I was afraid of myself. Of who I was. Of who I had the potential to become. I was afraid of the diseased genes that lived inside me. I was afraid of losing control. Of messing up. Of disappointing him, hurting him, or scaring him. Of him discovering who I was at my core.

I was afraid of everything.

I paced to the kitchen, found nothing in the fridge, slammed the door, and went to stand beside Baby’s enclosure. I stared at the snoozing reptile as Dr. Peterson’s speech about genetics, predisposition, learned behavior, and environmental influences rolled around inside my head. We’d talked about it endlessly. Mostly, I thought about his speech surrounding affection and the root cause of the issue.

He claimed I’d made progress since bringing Baby into my life. I didn’t see it. A snake wasn’t another human being. A snake wasn’t the sexy-as-sin records clerk I dreamed about nightly. She wasn’t the man who’d fallen into my life unexpectedly ten months ago who I couldn’t shake off. The skills weren’t transferable, no matter what my idiot doctor said.

“D?”

“I don’t know how. That’s thebut. I don’t know how. I’ve never… I’m not comfortable with… intimacy or affection. I know what you want, but I can’t give it to you because I don’t know how.”

He didn’t have a comeback. Maybe, for once, he was listening. But a minute later, Tallus appeared beside me. Shoulder to shoulder, we stared at Baby coiled inside her hollowed-out log. Was he thinking that my boa got more affection than he did? He wouldn’t be wrong. Baby was like me. Ugly. Hated and feared by most of the population. It was easier with Baby. She didn’t judge me for making mistakes. She never asked for more than I could give.

I felt the heat of Tallus’s gaze before he touched my arm and encouraged me to face him. The man was so confident, so sure of himself, so comfortable in his own skin. For whatever reason, I’d never scared him off the way I did most people.

Without a word, without telegraphing his actions or offering a verbal warning, he took my face between his palms and drew me to his level as he rose to his tiptoes.

I had only a moment to recognize the intent in his eyes before his lips were on mine, and he was kissing me.

12

Diem

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