Page 117 of Power of the Mind

I took every fucking pack off the shelf and piled them into my arms, then paused and narrowed my eyes. “If I drink all this in one day, will it kill me?”

“No, Mr. Krause, but it might make you pee a lot.”

On the way out of the store—with abso-fucking-lutely no new information about our case—I examined the contents of the brown paper bag where Janek had packed my purchases. I was ready to run home and brew a whole goddamn pot after that conversation. Inside, at the bottom, I found the receipt and a white rectangular card.

Tugging the card free, assuming it was a business card, I stalled. It was a suicide prevention hotline number. Why was this my life?

I threw it back into the bag and tossed the whole lot onto the passenger seat of the Jeep as a clatter sounded from the corner of the parking lot near the strip mall’s dumpster.

By the look of it, Janek’s new employee was having a hell of a time taking out the trash. One of the half dozen black bags he carried had ripped and its contents lay scattered on the ground, empty plastic bottles rolling along the uneven pavement, glass from broken jars spread in shimmering piles.

The kid cursed and threw the remaining garbage bags into the bin before staring at the mess he’d made. He removed his ballcap and chucked it as he spewed enough profanities to put me to shame.

I recognized the reactive, unrestrained burst of anger and knew intimately how such an immediate loss of control over something mundane could feel all-consuming. I empathized with how the internally burning fire destroyed the reasoning center of your brain, making you act out impulsively. Outsiders thought you were overreacting when in truth, you’d been holding your shit together for so long all it took was a spark to set it off. Like a broken garbage bag.

The kid’s rage burned itself out. Cheeks flush, chest heaving, he gave a stray bottle one last good kick and planted his hands on his hips to properly survey the mess.

I didn’t know why I did it. It wasn’t like me to get involved in other people’s affairs, but something about the kid drew me in. I didn’t know how I knew, but he was a kindred spirit.

I sauntered over and picked up his hat, brushing it off with a few good whacks to my leg.

The kid, I couldn’t remember his name, glanced up, dark shadows circling his eyes, lips hooked in a snarl, and with two matching hot spots high on his cheeks.

“Bad day?”

“Yeah.” He glanced at the building. “It’s a lot to learn, and she acts like I’m a fucking idiot, but god help me if I don’t play nice. I’m already on probation. This is the first job I’ve been allowed to have. I can’t lose it.”

“Group home?”

The kid nodded. “You don’t happen to have a smoke, do you?”

“Hang on.” I returned to the Jeep and found the half-empty pack I’d tossed in the console that morning. “Keep it. I’m trying to quit. Got a bag full of tea instead.”

The kid actually laughed. “That herbal shit?”

“Yeah.”

“Sucker.” He lit up, and I stared longingly as he inhaled and blew a cloud of smoke into the air.

“Need a hand?” I gestured at the mess decorating the asphalt.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ll get a broom and a new bag and take care of it.”

“What’s your name?”

“Darcy.”

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen. Why?”

I found a business card in my wallet and offered it to the kid. “Krause. Diem. If you ever want to learn to punch a bag and get the ugly out, give me a call. Trust me, it helps.”

Darcy glanced from the card to me, looking unsure what to say. I didn’t know what I was doing. I hated kids, especially teenagers. I had no patience for their stupidity, but something about this one gave me pause. I saw myself at his age, on the cusp of disaster, thinking no one understood.

Darcy noticed my scars—everyone always did—and pocketed the card. “Thanks.”

I handed him the ballcap, and he wedged it onto his head, wiggling it until it sat right. The store logo was emblazoned on the front. Green spindly leaves on a vine, their edges sharply cut. JP in gold cursive on either side. Curved underneath in smaller, texted embroidery was the word SUPPLEMENTS.

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