Page 43 of Skeletons in the Closet

“Um… n-no.”

“That’s technojargon for the internet waves in the atmosphere. Elmire Ranger Jr. discovered them in the sixties, but it took decades before we knew how to use them. Anyhow. Sometimes, they get out of sync, and your internet goes down. This bad boy helps us filter out the excess noise and unscramble them, so the internet works again.”

A strangled noise rose from Diem’s throat—a choke, or a cough, or maybe a laugh, I couldn’t be sure. When Indy and I glanced up, Diem vanished into Beth’s office.

“Is he okay?”

“Indigestion. He’s fine. So, what do you think?” I asked Indy. “Can you help?”

“Okay.”

I handed him the voltmeter. “You hold it up, I’ll reprogram the modem, and my apprentice will reconfigure the system codes on the computer. You’ll be back up and running in no time.”

Indy held the device over his head and pushed the button several times. “Like this?”

“Perfect. You’re a pro.”

“I didn’t know that was how the internet worked.”

“Not many people do. It’s complicated. Ten minutes, bud.”

I headed into Beth’s office. Diem sat in the desk chair, scrubbing his shorn hair with a hand as he stared at me withwhat I almost thought was humor—but I was probably wrong since I wasn’t sure he was capable.

“You’re fucking insane,” he muttered.

I grinned. “Acting is fun.”

“Talikimysoscribble?”

“It sounded scientific.”

“It sounded like a load of bullshit.”

“It is a load of bullshit, but Indy Five Hundred in there doesn’t know that. Plus, I saved you fifty bucks, so you’re welcome. Now, hurry up.” I moved in behind Diem, who already had Beth’s email open.

For the kid’s benefit, I shouted. “Move half a foot to the left, Indy.”

A pause, then, “That better?”

“Yep. Good stuff. Nice and high.”

Diem shook his head. “I can’t believe he thinks he’s unscrambling internet waves with a voltmeter. Fucking idiot. The future of the human race is doomed if his generation is who we’re leaving the planet to.”

“Be nice. It’s not his fault.”

“Whose fault is it?”

“The school system’s for not teaching the children about talikimysoscribbles in our atmosphere.”

“And Elmire Ranger Jr.”

“He was iconic. Well ahead of his time.”

“And that nonsense was preferable to my plan?”

“Focus, Guns. We’re here for a reason. Besides, my plan is more fun. Admit it. You’re having a hoot.”

Diem glared over his shoulder, but I returned nothing but sass.

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