Page 59 of Skeletons in the Closet

“Do you want to fuck me?”

Another nod, faster than the first.

Diem was stuck in a trance, biceps like iron, hands grasping the counter behind him so tightly his knuckles were white. With his lips slightly parted, he watched me strip to my underwear, kicking my shoes aside.

Diem’s tented pants announced he was onboard. The beer seemed long forgotten. Good.

“Don’t just stand there, Guns. Pay me some attention.” I swayed my hips from side to side. “Don’t make me regret this.”

He winced.

Without inhibition, I shoved my underwear down until they pooled around my ankles. Naked, ready, and more than willing, I waited for Diem to take what I knew he wanted.

14

Diem

He was beautiful. Every damn part of him. His long legs. His taut abdomen. His smooth chest and lean frame. The color of his hair carried a rusty tint of autumn. Earning the sultry twist of his smile was like shaking hands with the devil himself. Tallus’s bedroom eyes, hazel and alluring, looked at me in a way no one had ever looked at me before.

And I couldn’t figure out why.

He wanted things I didn’t know how to give. Affection and intimacy were not in my repertoire. Nothing on earth made me feel more awkward. It wasn’t that Ididn’t wantto give them, but I didn’t know how.

Glued to the counter, crippled with anxiety, Tallus’s words played over and over inside my head.“Don’t make me regret this.”But I would. I already was. Anonymous men couldn’t share their disappointments because I ensured I was gone when the sex was over, and we never saw each other again.

Tallus wasn’t anonymous, and no amount of shaking him off had worked to shed him from my life. He was always there, if not in the flesh, then inside my head. A perfect image. A man beyond reach.

A dream I could never have.

Or was he? He was asking me to reach out right now and take him, but I couldn’t move.

Tallus was charismatic, confident, and charming beyond belief. Everything I wasn’t. Why me? How had I fallen down this rabbit hole? How did I get out?

Did I want to?

I couldn’t take my eyes off him, yet all I wanted to do was look away from shame and embarrassment. I couldn’t compete with his beauty or energy. I couldn’t compare. He was crisp and new, and I was worn and ruined.

“Diem.” My name on his lips was like a prayer, asking, begging, drawing me in.

Tallus held out a hand, beckoning me closer. An invitation.

“Pay me some attention,”he’d said.

I could do that, but would it be enough?

It took effort to release the counter, and when I did, I didn’t reach for his extended hand. I couldn’t. Three steps brought me closer—it was like walking with two left feet. One more took me into his personal space. My skin came alive. My brain told me to stop. My dad’s voice reminded me I would never be enough. I was useless.

An embarrassment.

A waste of time and space.

Tallus was a head shorter. I peered down into his beautiful face for a long minute, absorbing his features, memorizing every gentle curve and angle of his cheekbones and jaw before dropping to my knees.

“Oh shit,” he breathed.

Eye to eye with his flat stomach, his erection bumped my chin. I glanced up, ensuring it was okay to proceed. A man like me required permission always. I was too threatening, too daunting, too fearsome to assume.

You’re good for nothing. You ruin everything you touch. What the fuck is wrong with you?

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