Page 78 of All Our Ghosts

HOLDEN

My cock jumps at the low sultry tone in her voice as she looked up at me through thick lashes. It's working. It really, really, is working. Kadence doesn't wait for me to answer. Instead, she takes my hand in hers and steps back, tugging me towards the small attached bathroom.

She leans into the shower, her eyes never leaving mine as she bites that plush pink bottom lip of hers between her teeth. I try to push back the images I saw of her in the file Fisher gave me. The bruises that littered her skin, the evidence of trauma no woman should have to go through. Now, here she is in front of me, covered in bruises. I know I didn't physically put them there but knowing I was partially responsible kills me.

I believe what Dex told me and a part of me knows that she loves me. The fact that she's still here, not running for the hills and wanting more of me proves it.

I step forward and grip the soft flesh around her hips, being mindful to avoid any of the dark splotches that litter her skin.

"You know I would never hurt you, right?" I whisper. My voice is rough with the swirling tornado of emotions working theirway up my throat and threatening to spill. "I would never do... or force you to..."

Her brows knit together as she cranes her neck to look up at me. Her eyes become glossy the longer we sit in this weighted silence. It's killing me, but I need to hear her confirmation. To hear her confirm I'm not the same.

"I'm not a good man, Sunflower, but I would never--"

"Stop," she chokes out, silencing me so quickly that my head spins for a moment. "I know you wouldn't hurt me- where is this coming from?"

I drop my head slightly, shaking it to try and clear the thoughts sucking any sort of sexual tension between us out of the room. Her small hand cups under my chin, lifting it to force my gaze to hers.

"I've seen the file, Kade, I just... I don't want you to be scared of me."

Her features soften as the night we first kissed replays in my mind. Her words burning my soul.

Are you scared of me?

Not in the way you think I am.

"Holden, I wouldn't have run after you if I was. I wouldn't have let you kiss me and I sure as hell would not have made you move from sleeping on the floor to the bed." She steps towards me, wrapping her arms around my waist. "A bad man would not have jumped into a freezing cold river to save me."

With every word, my body starts to melt into hers and I wrap my own arms around her. Her cheek presses to my chest undoubtedly hearing the thundering within it. If she believes in me this much, it is time I start doing the same.

"Please stop second guessing this," she whispers so quietly that if I hadn't settled into the brief silence, I would have missed it. Kade lifts her head to look up at me, resting her chin where her cheek had just laid. "I want this. I wantyou. No one else."My gaze flickers down to the tiny tremble in her lip. "If you don't want this, tell me now because I don't know if I could handle the fallout later down the road."

I swear my heart cracks. The last bit of cement I had around it turning into shattered debris at her feet.

My hand slides to the nape of her neck, tangling into her hair there as my gaze finds hers. Seeing and feeling every bit of doubt that my words just gave her.

"I want this," I rasp firmly, with as much reassurance as I can muster.

A soft sob leaves her lips and a wave of relief crashes down over us both. I suck in a breath of my own before feeling her hands snake around my body again, moving frantically as she begins to tear at my clothes. She pushes my shirt up and over my chest as everything we've both been holding back comes crashing through each of our walls.

I help her with the rest of my shirt, tossing it aside before peppering her cheeks and nose with soft kisses as her fingers work my jeans. She tilts her head back giving me access to the soft column of her neck. Her fingers roll down the waistband of my pants, pushing them down past my ass and to the floor. Her fingers are featherlight against my skin, sending a shudder up my spine and forcing a chuckle out of me as I kick the article aside, freeing my legs.

"Are you laughing at me?" She asks and even though my face is still buried in the crook of her neck I can hear the playfulness in her words.

"I'd never laugh at you, Sunflower," I say, gliding my hands down to her sweats and tasting the sensitive spot just below her ear. I lift my head, seeing her narrowed eyes at the smirk planted on my features, as I tease her midriff with my fingertips. Slowly, I start to kneel in front of her and loop my fingers within the waistband of her sweats.

"Hold my shoulders," I demand softly, peering up at her through my lashes. Her hands slowly climb over the muscle forcing the smirk on my face to turn into something softer. "Good girl," I rasp.

She tilts her head back and groans. “You can’t say things like that to me.”

I raise a brow, slowly peeling the sweats down her legs and helping her out of them before standing again.

"Why's that?" I ask, pulling her impossibly close to me. The heat of her skin against mine is enough to send me into a frenzy but I know I have to be careful and in control of my own needs.

Her tongue flicks over her bottom lip. "Do I really have to say it?"

I smile, kissing the tip of her nose and back her into the shower letting her take the rainfall of warm water first. "You don't have to, sweetheart, and we don't have to do anything you aren't ready for."

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