Page 74 of All Our Ghosts

“I don’t want you getting hurt either.”

He rolls his head to the side to look at me again. I’m already looking at him. The man who jumped into a river after me, the man who can make me go from happy and content to irritated in less than two seconds flat. The man that blames himself for a freak accident because he blames himself for every tragedy in his life. Something I can relate to.

“Please don’t disappear on me again,” I whisper, the emotions and pain slowly pulling me back towards their dark tides. “I don’t know if I could handle it.”

The muscle in his jaw clenches for just a moment before shaking his head. “I won’t.”

I search for any sign of deception in his features but find that he’s being sincere. We’re back to making promises I’m not sure we can keep but I would give my last breath trying. He rolls over onto his side again, slowly and careful not to jostle me too much.

“You need to sleep, Sunflower.” the corner of his mouth turns upwards in a sad smile. “We can talk about everything later.”

I know exactly what he means. Later I would relive everything,again, only this time I know it will be the hardest recollection. He’ll have questions. He won’t be able to hide the sadness in his gaze or the frown that freckles his face when he’s upset. In spite of that, I’ll do it if it means keeping Holden. I’ll answer his questions, tell him everything.No more secrets.

He scooches closer to me on the bed, getting close enough that I can reach out to him without straining. Holden rests his hand over my cheek, trailing his thumb carefully over my cheekbone. His eyes rake over my features again but I can see the exhaustion take its toll on him. Through heavy lids and slow blinks, he sooncloses his eyes and I follow suit. The warmth of his hand still resting on my cheek grounds me into sleep.

“She’s sleeping, Lang, let her have this alright? You can come back later.”

Holden’s voice filters through the sounds of rushing water in my dream. His voice is muffled but clear as day. My eyes flutter open; the room is brighter now. The light streaming through the window has turned from an early dawn glow to mid-day sun.

Everything still feels stiff. My legs feel crampy and the pain in my side throbs with every breath I take. I roll my head gently to the side, seeing him standing at the door, talking in a low voice with someone on the other side. The sleeves of his henley are pushed up on his forearms, giving a view of the scattered tattoos on his skin. My eyes trail down to his backside. The gray sweats he wears hang off of his hips but strain against the muscles in his thighs. He’s a sight to see after water-logged dreams.

“Lang, I swear to god–” He threatens, his voice rough from sleep.

“It’s okay,” I rasp. Holden’s head whips around at the sound of my voice. The hard look he has softening in an instant. “The doc?” I ask and to his dismay and the frown that blesses his lips, he nods. I smile softly. “Let him in.”

“You need to rest.” His grip on the door falters just enough that a shorter dark-haired man pokes his head through the gap with a dopey smile.

“I’ve rested enough for now, baby. Let him in.”

Holden crosses his arms over his chest, shooting me a look as if to say,fine, but I’m not happy about it,making me laugh softly and wince from the pain. The man grins up at him, pushing past the threshold and makes his way to me.

“You have ten minutes, Shawn.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Shawn mutters as he pulls a chair from the desk in the corner and sits it next to the bed. “Is he usually this cranky?” He asks me through a smirk.

My gaze flickers back to Holden, who’s currently shooting daggers with his burning blue eyes into the back of Shawn’s head.

“He means well.” I smile at him. “So, Doc, tell me. How long do I have to live?”

Shawn’s eyes go wide looking up from the leather bag. “You’re–not…miss..” He stammers his nervous gaze flickering between me and Holden.

I grin, shaking my head. “That was too easy. I’m kidding.”

Shawn lets out a shaky breath and begins pulling out medical supplies from his bag, setting it on the bed next to me.

“It wasn’t funny,” Holden grumbles, moving around to where he laid earlier and sits against the headboard. I glance over at him and instantly regret the joke. His eyes flare with something I can’t pinpoint as he moves the pillow he used to sleep and sets it behind my head. “Up you get, c’mon,” he mutters softly, helping me sit up.

I wince at the sharpness shooting up my side, my eyes never leaving Holden as he helps me get comfortable. I didn’t mean anything by it, but even though his face is masked in a blank look, I know it has affected him. I glance over at Shawn as soon as I feel like I can sit without being in pain. “Sorry, if I don’t joke about it I’ll cry and I’ve done enough crying for now.”

He nods with a smile. “Well, you aren’t dying anytime soon. But you will be sore for a few days.” Lang nods, checking thesmall cuts on my arms. His eyes rake over my features and lifts his hand to turn my chin but before he can touch me, a low growl comes from beside me.

I turn to look at Holden who again looks like he’s cutting off Lang’s hand with his glare as it hangs midair.

“Down, boy, he’s only trying to help.” My own hand moves to his arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Maybe it would be better if you stepped outside, Holden,” Shawn says, lowering his hand. The air in the room crackles with tension. “Just for me to be able to inspect the bruises, five minutes tops.”

Holden shakes his head. “Not a chance.”

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