Page 67 of All Our Ghosts

“I came to find you!” I yell back, moving toward him but stopping when the metal of the trusses moans around me.

Holden takes a step towards me but halts. “Go home, Kadence!”

“No!” I yell back, my voice hoarse and my throat becoming raw. I take another step towards him, “I’m not giving this up! I need–” I suck in a breath, “I need to explain!”

“There’s nothing to explain! Go back to Wolfe!” He sneers, taking another step toward me. Even now I can see the red around his eyes only highlighting the blue as if his emotions are getting the better of him the same as mine are.

I follow, taking a step toward him feeling the wood shift beneath me before stopping again. “There’s nothing going on, I don’t want Wolfe! I wantyou!” This gets his attention as he freezes, his eyes trail my goosed skin as I wrap my arms around me again. “I don’t want anyone but you, Holden!”

“You shouldn’t be here!” He finally says, inching towards me.

I do the same, ignoring the cracking of wood. “Yes, I should because all my life I’ve given in. I ran from what scared me the most! I gave up on my life, Holden! I gave up on the things I loved, I gave up my self worth!” I take another step. “But I’m done running and I will bedamnedif I give up onyou!”

Holden’s head drops, his hands fist at his sides again like he’s at war with himself. For a long while we stand in silence, nothingbut the sound of rushing water and rain splashing against the wood and metal fill the air around us.

Just look at me. Please,I silently beg him, the tears returning but camouflaged by the rain.

His eyes lift to mine and my breath hitches in my throat. Those eyes I love so much, so full of the things that scare the both of us. The ones that seeme. There’s only a few feet in between us now but he’s slowly closing the distance as he moves towards me, only making the sound of my heartbeat drum in my ears that much more.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks, his voice raising but the disdain from before almost gone.

My hands fall from around me and down to my sides as I stare back at him. “Because I was scared.” He closes the distance between us again, he’s close enough to reach and even though my hands are itching to do so, I keep them still. “Because I didn’t want to feel weak anymore.”

Holden shakes his head. “You should have told me.”

I nod. He’s right, I knew he was right the moment that he walked out of the clubhouse a week ago, and I’ve been regretting not telling him since. “I know.”

He stumbles back like the words are a punch to his gut. His hands come to his waist as he stares out at the water for a long time. I take a step towards him, the wood beneath me shifting under my boot but I press on.

“Holden.” I’m so close to him. I raise my hand to reach out to him. “Please.”

Holden tilts his head to me and I know that he knows more than he has seen on the TV. Something tells me he knows deep down what happened. But he never says anything.

“No more secrets,” he says, and I nod furiously in response before he even finishes.

“No more.” I repeat.

His chest heaves as he watches me. A chill runs through my body again, craving the warmth of his as I take another step. The wood beneath me begins to crack louder than it has before and this time I feel the shift. I glance down just as the wood gives out.

“Holden!” I scream, reaching out for him.

He lunges at me, grasping at my fingers as the rain pours down around us. My hand slips from his as I fall through the broken wood, my arm scraping against the rotting bridge.

“Kadence!” He screams after me, his body dropping to his knees as I fall.

Everything around me becomes muffled as soon as I hit the frigid water. It stings my skin as I’m dragged further below the surface of the river.

My scream pierces the water, the flashlight ripping from my grip as my body hits the river bottom. Crashing and rolling against the rocks and submerged branches. I claw at anything I can grab onto, only to be sucked away by the current.

I break the surface, gasping for air until I’m pulled under again, my arms fighting for the surface again. The current only gets stronger and I try holding the small breath I’m able to get, but as my body slams into a log, the air in my lungs leaves me in response and I suck in water.

I scream again, my pleas muffled by the river. The glimpses of moonlight shining through the water go dark and the sounds of rushing water are replaced by the sound of my blood rushing to my ears.

My eyes close as the current carries me. I’m not going to survive this. I’m sure of it and everything I’ve been fighting for, the vision of a future I want with Holden has quickly been washed away with the current and my body slowly giving up on itself.

I tried. Ifought.

Fought for him and if this is how I’m going to die, at least I know I tried and for once ran towards the thing I’m scared of.

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