Page 64 of All Our Ghosts

“He’ll probably end up just sitting at the bar with his ever watchful eyes, it’ll be fine.” She reassures me.

I nod, slipping out of Blake’s grasp, and shrug on my jacket. It doesn’t bother me that Dex is coming. I was just curious. Spending the night babysitting us is probably the last thing he wants to do and knowing that he’ll be there in case something happens is comforting but it feels like another reminder that I can’t protect myself and that ball of grief in my stomach rolls.

When we finally reach Moon, the parking lot is already littered with a few cars and I can hear the music booming against the walls. My gut wrenches. I really, really hope that neither Layla nor Jane are here, but without Marlowe here, it’s unlikely that would be the case.

The three of us climb from the tow truck and head inside.

Dex settles us into a booth in the corner, one that gives us enough room to dance after Blake insists on it and one that he can see from his perch at the bar as well after bringing us a few drinks to get us started.

I down my first one in the hope that it will calm my nerves and settle the uneasiness in my chest.I can do this. I can have one night where I can be happy and enjoy my time with Blake. I can’t remember the last time that I drank, it’s been months since my last one so it doesn’t take long for it to go to my head and make my cheeks feel warm.

Music blares around us as Blake pulls me up to dance, and after one song bleeds into another, I feel myself smiling and laughing at the stupid moves Blake does to get me to dance. Dex refills our drinks once more and again I down it as Blake watches.

“You sure you’re okay?” Blake asks over the music, her eyes tracking the empty glass as I set it back down. “Those are meant to be sipped on.” Her brows furrow in worry. I shake my head.

“I’m fine.” I smile at her, wrapping my arms around her neck as I sway with her. “Thank you!”

Blake pulls back as we move. “For what?”

“For wanting to be a friend, for caring.” I lean into her, wanting to make sure she hears the words. Blake freezes for a moment before her arms wrap around my waist and she pulls me into a hug.

We pull back from each other and she rests her hands on either side of my face. “We all care about you, Kadence. We won’t let anything happen to you.” Dark eyes search mine. Blake’s normally bubbly personality has turned to stone as she says the words. “And we willfindHolden.”

The pit in my stomach grows as Blake stares at me. I don’t want them to get hurt protecting me. I’m not sure that’s a promise I can make to them.

Things have been quiet over the last week. Watson has left us alone and Cole hasn’t heard from Stokes. I turned my phone off after an hour-long conversation with Maria when she saw the news piece. It was her suggestion. She knows just as well as I do how conniving Jeremy can be and if he hasn’t tracked my phone already it’s probably on his list of ways to torment me.

I still have the urge to continue looking over my shoulder every time I’m not around Cole or Dex. I trust Blake, but if Jeremy finds us, I’m not sure even Blake would be able to fend him off.

I give her a small smile, my hands coming to rest over hers. I lean in and press a kiss on her cheek. “I don’t deserve you Porter.”

Blake smiles back before dropping her hands. My head starts to feel dizzy as I try to hide the guilt riddling my insides. I feel that familiar weight on my chest start to get heavier the longer I watch her and it doesn’t help that I can feel Dex’s gaze on us.

“I need water.” I huff out a laugh, stepping back from Blake.

“I’ll come with you!”

I shake my head. “No, stay and dance. I’ll be right back!”

Blake’s brows furrow again but I give her a reassuring smile and step back from her before turning and heading to the bar.

I suck in a deep breath, my eyes squeezing shut for a moment as I attempt to gather myself.You can do this. You’re stronger than this.I try to remind myself.

I settle at the bar next to Dex. He’s leaning against it, a beer in hand as he watches me. I raise my hand to the barmaid and ask for water. He leans closer not saying anything but I can feel his questioning gaze on me.

“I’m fine,” I mutter, glancing over at him.

He grins, “Yeah. You look it.” Dex lifts the bottle to his lips taking a swig.

“Why are you here Dex?” I ask, turning to him as the water appears in front of me. “Blake doesn’t need babysitting and neither do I.”

A thick brow raises as he studies me. “I’m not here to watch either of you.” He takes another swig before turning towards me. “Men here tend to get grabby.” Dex tilts his head. “Do you understand what I’m sayin’?”

I stare at him for a moment. “So you’re here to watch everyone else?”

“I’m here to make sure the others know who not to put their hands on.”

I nod and pick up the water to take a sip. The drink does nothing to ease the fuzziness in my brain and here I am once again questioning the person who’s trying to protect me. “I’m sorry.”

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