Page 34 of All Our Ghosts

He inches forward, taking the smallest step I’ve ever seen a six-foot-four man take. Slowly reaching his hand back out for me. The gooey man in front of me is a drastic comparison to the one taunting me in the office ans fighting with me in the middle of a laundromat. A tiny piece of me wonders what changed.

It doesn’t stop me from stepping towards him, giving in to the pull I feel once again. His fingers gingerly wrap around my wrist, intertwining our fingers once more.

“I’m right here, Kadence,” he whispers. “You don’t have to say anything or tell me the truth but,” his head tilts slightly, catching my gaze, “I’m here.”

“We don’t know each other,” I whisper back as if to lull the night air.

The corners of his mouth turn upwards slightly again. “Maybe it’s better that way.”

First, he wants to know about me, and now he wants to be my stranger.

“Princess?”

I flinch again, my stomach turning. “Please don’t call me that,” I choke through a harsh breath.

My gaze drops, avoiding him as tears begin to pool in my eyes. The word stings more than he knows. Before it was a way for him to irk me, but hearing it now makes my skin crawl. Jeremy would call me that to appease me. Make me feel special after he tore me down with threats and cruel words.

I never want to hear the name again.

“Hey, hey, hey,” his voice coos, dipping his head once again to catch my eyes. I can’t look at him, I don'twantto look at him. IfI can see the pain and hurt in his eyes, I’m sure he can recognize it in mine. “I won’t call you that.”

The glass door behind me slides open, a soft gasp leaving my lips as his hands fall from my face. Holden’s eyes fill with guilt as I turn away, wiping the remaining tears that stain my cheeks.

“You know, if you guys wanna kiss again, the tree around the gazebo is much more secluded.” Blake’s voice appears from behind me. “Scottie started explaining the birds and the bees to West and you should have seen how red his face got, Nash. It was hilar–”

“Blake.” Holden interjects, his voice firm.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t have been watching, but you really know how to just–” She gestures with her hands as if taking something.

“Blake!” He says through a clenched jaw.

I can’t help but laugh softly, turning back towards Blake even though I can feel the blush creeping up my neck.

The grin across Blake’s face tells me everything I need to know. She gets enjoyment out of torturing the men in this Club and being the only other woman I’ve seen so far that has been treated as more than just a quick fuck, I respect that. Boys’ clubs aren’t easy to meld yourself into. They’re crass, rude, and sometimes just plain mean. But even then it never compares to the cruelty of the men I know from home.

“Hey, your secret is safe with me.” She holds up both hands in front of herself in defeat. “But if you two don’t want the entire club knowing, then you should probably know that Cole is on his way to find you.” Blake points at me.

Holden lets out something between a growl and a sigh as he glances over at me, “It’s now or never darlin’.” He holds out his hand for me.

I glance at Blake. The grin on her face turns proud as she nudges her chin towards Holden’s hand. “What have you got to lose?”

My heart thuds in my chest. I can hear Cole’s voice muffled against the glass and it’s getting closer to us. As much as I appreciate everything he’s doing for me, it doesn’t change the fact that he handles me with kid gloves. At least until dinner. I know Cole’s curious about me and he seems to understand when I avoid his questions. But tonight, letting Wolfe press me planted a tiny seed of doubt.

I’ll find you.

The words replay in my mind like a broken record. Fast and warped like a nightmare as my eyes meet Holden’s.

I hate myself for taking his hand and intertwining our fingers. I hate that I’m going to use him as a distraction tonight. But I need it and by the way he kissed me earlier, he seems to need it too.

A wide smile meets those ocean eyes, making me mirror it back to him as he tugs me towards the edge of the house.

“Hey Nash?” Blake’s voice stops them once again as he spins around. “Scottie and West don’t know.”

I watch his brows furrow for a moment before realizing that Blake is messing with us. He tosses her a wink. “Thanks kid.”

A laugh bubbles from my chest as he once again smiles down at me, bright and glowing. Flames lick the inside of my belly at the sight. He looks younger, his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunches up slightly. A part of me wonders how long it’s been since he’d smiled like that.

Holden stops along the edge of the front of the house, peering around the corner, checking for other members I assume. Secrets seem like a far-fetched thing with these men. Though I’d have to explain to Cole how I got home in the morning, it’s just that. A problem for the morning.

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