Page 32 of All Our Ghosts

My body vibrates with anxiety. Every atom is bouncing around my insides like they’re trying to escape, and in a way, it makes sense. Everything is screaming at me to leave, to get away from the pack of men inside, to get out of this town and the more I stand here, taking in deep breaths, the more stuck I feel.

“Heat gettin’ to ya, Princess?”

I slide my eyes closed, sucking in a breath through my nose as his voice drifts from my left.

“You won’t be able to hide forever, ya know,” he taunts. “One day all those little secrets you’re keeping are going to spill out of you. Or worse…” He pauses and the soft thud of his boots once again surrounds me, encroaching on me as my eyes squeeze further shut, almost willing him to disappear. “...you’ll get someone killed.”

“Stop it,” I whisper, having had enough.

I peel my eyes open, turning my head to see Holden standing next to me, facing me as he puffs on a cigarette. Taking one last long drag, letting it linger on his lips as his lungs fill with smoke.

The smug look on his face falls when our eyes connect and he must have finally caught a glimpse of the fear behind my green eyes.

He drops the cigarette and my eyes follow watching as the ash crackles against the ground into tiny little embers before the toe of his boot snubs it out.

“Why do you do that?” I ask, ignoring how small my voice sounds as my gaze returns to his.

Holden’s brow furrows for a moment. “Because you aren’t alone, Kadence.” His voice drops like he’s sharing a secret with me and no one else was supposed to know. “Everyone has secrets and yours aren’t special.”

I tug my bottom lip between my teeth, gnawing as he takes the smallest step towards me. He’s close enough now that the heat ofhis body radiates off of him. I take a step backward, and he takes another step towards me.

I feel my back hit the cold logs of the house. He’s testing me. Pushing to see just how far he can get under my skin.

I want to push back. To shove him away from me, but the closer he moves in on me the more the pull I feel towards him grows.

“Are you scared of me Kadence?” He asks, but it's not to be cruel. There is a hint of something in his voice that makes me wonder if he is worried that I actually am.

“No,” I lie. I am scared of him. Not scared that he’d hurt me physically but scared that he is slowly destroying the wall I built around myself, around my heart.

The heat of his breath fans across my face sending a wave of goosebumps down my spine. I can see the blue in his eyes because of the moonlight shining between us; they’re bluer than I remember, with tiny green flecks, and the small smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks are more apparent now.

Holden leans in a little further to me, tilting his head to catch my gaze again under the brim of his baseball cap. I can hear the soft jingle of the dog tags around his neck as he moves.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” he whispers, his lips hovering just above my own.

It only takes a moment to realize that my fingers are now clutched around the buttons of the dark Henley he wears, tugging gently at the collar until they tangle in the chain of his tags. My mouth begins to feel like cotton as he gently nudges my nose with his own. Careful only to touch the parts of me he can see, his hands plant on either side of my head, caging me in.

“You scare me, but not in the way you think you do.” My head goes foggy as our eyes meet again.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he rasps.

My lips part and his eyes catch the movement as I will myself to protest his comment but I can’t. He isn’t wrong and now a tiny part of me wishes I hadn’t.

Holden’s eyes dart over my face. “Tell me to stop,” he breathes.

My fingers tighten around his chain, tugging as I shake my head softly.

He only hesitates for a moment before slotting his lips over mine, slow and tentative at first, but as I pull him closer, he gains a little more confidence that I’m not going to change my mind.

And I wouldn’t.

The moment our lips meet an explosion of fireworks goes off in my stomach.

His tongue teases my bottom lip, silently asking permission to dance with my own. I whimper as his body presses against mine and I part my lips to let him in. He tastes like whiskey and smoke. It’s addicting.Heis addicting.

The more I lean into him, the less I want it to stop. Both of us fighting for control over the other makes my mind swim with the idea of what his hands would feel like gliding across my skin. Molding me to him.

I pull back slightly to catch my breath. My chest heaves as his eyes search my face again. The blue is only a small sliver now compared to before with how dark his pupils have gotten.

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