Page 124 of All Our Ghosts

Her body shakes as she nervously rambles. No wonder she’s fucking terrified. Her worst nightmare is closer than ever and I wasn’t here to stop it and yet the thing that scares me the most is the feeling that Jeremy is going to get what he wants.

“Cole won’t let that happen,” I say trying to reassure her but it only deepens the crease between her brows.

“Then he gives up control of the club, Holden,”

“Let the club worry about that, baby, I can’t–” my voice cracks seeing her wound up and that terrified look in her eye I haven’t seen since the first time we met. “I can’t let you get in the middle of this.”

“Holden,” she whines. “I’m already in the middle of it! Stokes knows about me and if he knows about me there’s a good chance that Jeremy knows where I am!”

My hands rest on either side of her face, doing what I can to slow down her rapid breaths. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Kadence, I made you that promise.”

It breaks my heart to see the disbelief in her eyes. For her to second guess that I won’t die trying to save her. It isn’t the first time that thought has crossed my mind. I’ve lost enough sleep wondering when the other shoe is going to drop on our relationship. I have no doubt that she’s in this as much as I am, but it feels like everything and everyone is trying to tear us apart. Nature, Jeremy, hell for a while I felt like Cole hated the fact that we’re together. But my heart has never beat harder than when she’s in the room. When she smiles at me it’s like a ray of sunshine on our darkest days.

I’ll give anything to have that smile back right now.

“That’s not the only reason I’m scared,” she admits softly backing away from me. Her hands worry at the hem of my sweatshirt she’s wearing. Picking at the frayed ends of where I’ve worn it down. I let her move from my touch, giving her the space to process whatever gears are working overtime in her mind. “I have to tell you something.” Kade’s voice drops to barely a whisper.

“What is it?”

She takes in a shuddering breath, steeling her nerves for whatever she’s about to tell me and every fear I have races to the forefront of my mind. My fingers itch to reach out and touch her. To ground myself to her in case all of this is too much and, while I’m dealing with club shit, she decides to leave, to hide away from everything trying to hurt her.

“I’m pregnant.”

Those thoughts die as quickly as the words race from her lips.

“What?” I ask, not because I didn’t hear her but because I can’t believe it.

Kadence lets out an almost frustrated huff. “I’m pregnant.”

“You are?” I breathe, taking a step towards her as the tears that prick at the corner of her eyes match mine. She nods with her bottom lip back between her teeth. “When?”

“The day you left,” she says and my heart drops again, that I wasn’t here. That she had to do it alone, had to find out alone. “Blake was there,” Kadence whispers like she can sense the dread that fills me, battling the overwhelming sense of thrill that thrums through me.

My hands cup her face again and this time I can’t help the wide smile that slowly grows over my features. “You’re really pregnant?” I whisper and once again she nods.

“I wanted to wait until you got back to make an appointment, but the four tests Blake made me take says I am.” She lets out a laugh and this time, it’s full and sweet.

“Thank you,” I whisper, kissing her again and wrapping my arms around her.

She rests her chin on my chest as she looks up at me. “You aren’t upset.”

I look down at her. She doesn’t say it like a question but more of an observation. It hits me then that this is the second time she’s had to go through this. Telling someone that she’s pregnantand the underlying tone of her words makes me think that the last time went exactly the opposite.

“No, Sunflower,” I lean in to kiss her softly. “I’m happy.”

“It’s soon,” She whispers against my lips.

“Stop,” I say gently. “I’m not him.” I curl my fingers into the collar of her shirt, wrapping a hand around the side of her neck. “I don’t care if it’s too soon, hell I don’t even care if I’m ready. I’m fucking happy.”

The tears that have been threatening to fall down her cheeks finally break. She almost looks pained but I know it has nothing to do with me. It’s everything to do with the asshole who broke her. Who tore down everything she loved to the point that she lost it all. I silently make myself a promise that I will never do that to her. That I will protect her and our child with every fiber of my being. “I’ll die before something happens to you and this baby.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she whispers. “You have a tendency to be my white knight.”

My eyes search hers. “It’ll take a lot more than your ex to kill me, baby.”

She falls silent and buries her face into my chest again. Holding on as if at any moment I’ll disappear. Fuck that. I’m not going anywhere and neither is she.

“We’re going to be okay,” I whisper into the crown of her hair. Pressing my lips there for a moment. “All of us.”

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