Page 117 of All Our Ghosts

Without hesitation, she nods and whispers a yes that buries itself so deep in my soul that I feel myself sink everything I have into that one word just for her.

"I want to take you somewhere today."

"Where?" She whispers against my lips.

"It's a surprise," I grin, "but first, we need to get all this packed up and get you fed."

She smiles and every time I see it I swear she shoots sunlight from my head to my toes. "Deal, but…" she bites down on her bottom lip, "please don't make me eat from your teenager stash again."

I laugh and pepper her face with kisses. "Pancakes?"

Her eyes widen and her smile widens. "Pancakes."

KADENCE

The next few days after Santa Barbara fly by as the guys prepare for their run. I’ve barely seen Holden and despite the shit he and Cole are going through, they’ve spent most of that time together planning.

Even though we spend every night and morning together, I miss him. Something shifted between us during our time away and I know that we both feel it. Saying I love you isn’t the only thing that has changed between us but now the shared glances, the lingering touches they all feel deeper.

Today though, I’m curled up in bed. Blake’s lying next to me, flipping through random channels on the TV while my mind wanders to Holden. My eyes are closed when I hear the door open and close.

“How do you even watch anything on this TV? There’s nothing good to watch.” Blake’s voice rings through the room.

“I have better things to watch than the TV, Porter,” he chuckles, and it makes the corners of my mouth turn up. I open my eyes to glance at him as he wraps his arms around me and slides into the bed next to me.

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you tried making a dirty joke and go get us dinner.” She slides off the other side of the bed. “Tell her to eat, or I’m forcing food down her throat.”

“I’d like to see you try, Blake,” I quip, glancing at her with a grin on my face. We’ve grown closer since the meeting with the Skulls.

Blake laughs as she heads towards the door. “I honestly would love to see you try and fight me.”

“We both know I’d win!”

“Whatever you say, Andrews!” She yells as the door closes behind her.

Holden grins down at me. “You seem to be feeling better.” His lips brush over my forehead. It’s sweet and soft but I know he’s checking for a fever again.

“It’s hard not to feel happy around Blake.” I admit pressing a soft kiss to his jawline, “and I haven’t eaten, so no more puking. I just feel exhausted.”

“Probably because you haven’t eaten anything, Sunflower.” He grabs my chin gently, lifting my gaze to his. “Promise me you’ll try to eat something and drink water while I’m gone.”

My heart rate picks up when I realize what day it is. “You guys are headed out?”

The look on his face turns somber. “Yeah, I was coming to say goodbye but…”

“I’ll be fine. Blake will be here with me.” I try to smile but the anxiety about them doing this run starts to seep in again. Heightened by the exhaustion, my body feels it leaves a sinking feeling in my gut. His brows furrow. “You have to go, Holden. If you don’t it’ll just make things worse between the club and the Skulls.”

“I should have never told you what was going on,” he sighs. “I hate that you’re worried.”

“I’d rather worry than be kept in the dark,” I counter, moving to sit up. It takes more effort than it should for me to slide up and sit against the headboard. The dull throb in my head heightens for a moment as I move and my eyes slide closed to get my bearings.

“Baby,” he whispers, his hand combing through my tangled hair. “I’ll stay. The guys can do this without me.”

I shake my head, opening my eyes to look at him because now the worry in his own voice is doing nothing to shake my nerves. “No, I’ll be fine.”

“Maybe we should call Lang?” He suggests with furrowed brows. Those ice blue eyes scan me as if he’s looking for other injuries though everything I’m feeling is internal.

“Holden,” I chuckle softly. “I’ll be okay. It’s just the flu or something. It’ll go away.” My eyes meet his and it takes everything I have to put on a brave face for him. We both know he has to go on this run with the guys. It’s their only chance to not start a war with the other clubs. They can’t afford it. “Go,” I nudge him with my foot and smile, “I’ll be fine.”

---