Page 102 of All Our Ghosts

Once I'm situated and swimming in his hoodie, he hands me an extra helmet. I smile seeing the newly painted sunflower on the back of it and look up at him. "What's this?"

Holden smiles sheepishly and shrugs. "I might have asked Falcone to paint it on there."

Butterflies explode in my stomach as I run my finger along the flower. It might just be a small painted symbol but to me it feels like a promise.

I can't answer him with the emotions stuck in my throat. The realization that Holden isn't going anywhere and even more he doesn't wantmeto go anywhere.

He must sense that words are hard to come by because he reaches for me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, and tugs me to his chest pressing his lips in my hair. "You don't have to say anything, Sunflower. It's just a helmet."

I let out a soft teary laugh and shake my head. "It's not just a helmet, Nash."

He pulls back and smiles down at me. "No, it's not." Holden gently takes the helmet from my hands and slips it over my head. His fingers drag down my jaw and to my chin to buckle it with a smile and a look in his eyes I can't quite place but I know it's only for me.

"Have you seen Cole this morning?" I ask, realizing he hadn't been on the lot when we came down and his bike was still in its spot.

Holden nods tugging on my chinstrap. "He's giving Trey a rundown of security before we head out."

"You think Stokes or Watson are going to do something while we're gone?"

"I'd bet on it, but the plan is to lay low."

I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. Even if the guys lay low at the compound, the six of us on the road were still open targets. It isn't a matter of whether or not I feel unsafe with the three men that I know would protect me. It's a matter of those men doing whatever it takes to protect me and their family that scares me. That familiar weight in my stomach starts to grow in heaviness again and extinguishes any ember his touch had ignited within me.

"Baby." His hands frame my face. "You start thinkin' any harder, I'm gonna be able to hear those thoughts." Holden's eyes flicker between mine, searching them and I know I'm not going to be able to hide from him. I never have been.

"What if something happens?"

His brows knit together and he shakes his head. "Trey has strict orders to keep everyone in the compound. The guys are here to work, no runs, and Marlowe is closing Moon for the weekend. Everyone is holding up here." His thumbs gently stroke over my cheekbones. "Stokes can't do shit if everyone is here."

"Or he'll be shooting fish in a barrel," I mutter softly, causing the corners of his mouth to twitch up.

"They're gonna be fine, Sunflower." He brushes his lips against mine before fully kissing me softly, doing everything he can to ease away my anxiety. "Stokes knows better than to stop us when we leave if he wants to keep his cash flow coming in."

"You'll be safe with all of us." His head drops a little to catch my gaze. "Okay? I won't let anything happen to you but you need to stay close to me."

The warning at the end of his words makes me shift on my feet. "I'll be glued to your side." I tease trying to ease the tension growing up my spine but he shakes his head.

"I'm serious, Kade, not all clubhouses are like ours. These men know better than to touch what isn't theirs. The Rollin' Skulls are a harsher club, so unless you are not with me, you'll be with Blake."

I nod as the rest of the crew begins to gather around us, all suiting up for the drive. It won't take us more than a few hours to arrive at the other clubhouse but it's a few hours of the low simmering anxiety in my stomach I'm not looking forward to. The one saving grace I'm banking on is being able to hold him the whole time. Being able to wrap around him has a way of bringing a sense of calm to me. I need it right now as I fight to hold onto the confidence I had this morning the closer we are to leaving.

"Everything will be fine," he reassures again, kissing my forehead as if he can read my mind. His lips graze my skin down to the tip of my nose where he leaves another kiss and then another soft one to my lips.

"You guys ready?" Cole asks, making his way to his bike.

Holden takes one last glance at me waiting for an answer. I barely nod but it's enough that he responds to Cole. "Yeah."

Everyone climbs onto their bikes. Wyatt and Blake joke and push each other around while Wolfe sits thoughtfully on his bike, slipping his helmet over his head until the hardened look in his eyes is disguised under his visor. Holden throws his leg over his own bike, settling onto it before holding a hand out for me. I swallow hard and take his hand climbing on behind him. I scoot as close as I can get to him and wrap my arms around his waist.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Cole glance in our direction. Something in his gaze catches my attention as I turn to fully look at him. He flashes me a weak smile, his eyes flickering between myself and Holden with something deeper hidden under his blue gaze. Something akin to want and regret.

Cole starts his bike, setting off the chorus of engines roaring to life around me and within minutes we're filtering out of the main compound gate and onto the road. Cole rides up front with Holden and Wolfe riding side by side behind him. Blake and Wyatt flank us in the van, all making sure we're safe and not followed. I settle against Holden's back, resting my cheek on his shoulder while I watch Pine River rip by us in a flash.

Town turns to trees and soon the trees turn into long winding roads of open fields. I recognize the spot I broke down over a month ago, and it only makes me realize how much things have changed. How one month feels like a year. It's crazy to me that only a short time ago I felt lost. I had no plans of where I was going, where my last stop would take me but now? Now I can't picture being anywhere else. That sense of being lost has faded and the foreboding hold I had in my heart has slowly started to fill to the brim.

Images of Holden and I in bed over the last few mornings and nights start to surface. The two of us tangled together, talking and laughing about little things. I never experienced that with Jeremy. He never took the time to ask me questions, not even when we first started dating. Holden wants to know everything,and even as I told him about my dad, my car and a million other little things, I knew what we have is different. Holden wants me forme. He doesn't care whether I'm the perfect girlfriend, a trophy wrapped in floral dresses and drinking one glass of wine at events I had no interest in.

Holden wants me for the mess I am. The girl who wears ratty old band t-shirts and shorts, once called too slutty by a small man, were now Holden's favorite. He wants the girl who prefers combat boots over heels. The one that finally stands up for herself.

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