Page 91 of All Our Ghosts

I spin, seeing the brunette basically charge right at me. A wide smile on her face and slender arms held out wide as she pulls me into her. I feel Blake’s hand wrap around the back of my head in a death grip of a hug. I’ve seen Blake a few times over the past few weeks, bringing me clothes and food. Checking in on mewhen Holden needs his own change of clothes and has to leave for a bit. All fleeting moments that never lasted longer than an hour or so.

“It’s so good seeing you up and about,” she mutters into my hair. “I thought Holden would keep you locked up in that tower forever.”

I pull back with a laugh. “If it were up to him, I’d probably be wrapped up in bubble wrap.”

“Oh trust me, the man wanted to safety-proof the clubhouse. Cole had to convince him that you weren’t a toddler and could walk just fine.” She grins, “Dex almost agreed with Holden.”

“Why does none of that surprise me.” I laugh, wrapping my arm around Blake’s waist. “I’m almost shocked that Cole didn’t agree with them.”

Blake flashes me a warm smile. “Because I told him I’d slash his tires if he didn’t convince them otherwise.”

I stare at her in shock and my mouth drops open as Blake laughs. “Blake, you didn’t!”

“You can take care of yourself, Kade. You don’t need these men turning cavemen around you, as much as they’d probably enjoy it way too much. They need to let you breathe, and the three of them were buzzing around you like bees to honey.”

Blake leads me over to the bar where Marlowe is already passing out drinks to a group of women standing at the other end.

“They don’t have to do that.” I glance up to see Layla staring straight at me. Her dark eyes narrow and painted lips pursed together. “I don’t want to be treated differently.”

“But you are different,” Blake says, stopping us just out of earshot of the rest of the group. “Holden and Cole hadn’t said more than a few words to each other before you came along, and he and Dex sure as shit never agreed on anything before you. You’re healing Holden as much as he’s helping heal you.”

I swallow thickly as my eyes meet Blake’s.

“Look,” Blake sighs, resting her hands over her arms. “After Becca died, the club fractured. Holden wanted nothing to do with the shop. He practically lived at Moon with the few exceptions where he’d show up here plastered and looking for another easy lay.” She grimaces slightly with her own words but it’s not anything that I didn’t already assume. “Since you showed up, Holden has actually come to work. He’s on speaking terms with Dex again and whatever happened the other night at the diner has had Cole in a better mood. None of this started happening until you.”

“Why weren’t Dex and Holden on speaking terms?” I ask, her brows furrow. It’s not something that either of them ever mentioned before.

Blake’s eyes flicker over me. “You don’t know?”

I shake my head.

“Dex was on watch the night Becca died…no one was supposed to leave the compound and Becca snuck past the guys.”

“I…I didn’t know that,” I mutter. It explains a lot of the tension between the two of them. Why Holden seems pissed at Dex most of the time. I sigh, shaking my head, “I don’t want to be the peacekeeper between the three of them.”

“I don’t think you are,” Blake says. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re just helping them find peace with the past and uniting them for the future.”

I look at her with confusion. “What do you mean?”

“If this shit with Stokes and Watson gets worse, the three of them will need to work together not against each other, because if Stokes even senses any sort of tension within the club, we’re doomed.”

My eyes widen. “That’s a lot of pressure Blake. I can’t–I can’t be that bandaid for them.”

“You already are, my love.” Blake flashes me a winning smile. “So deal with it because you, Kadence, are truly the missing piece for all of this.”

“Jesus, Blake,” I breathe. “How do you figure that?”

She hooks her arm around me and shrugs. “Just a feeling. C’mon, no more heavy talk though, yeah? Let’s just have a good time tonight.”

I nod, not protesting that. Everything has felt so heavy the last few weeks that tonight I just want a break. Something to keep my mind off of Jeremy, off of whatever the guys planned for Stokes and Watson. I want to feel normal.

I follow Blake to the bar and get to work helping fill shot glasses with whiskey and tequila. I smile and joke around with members as they pass by to grab a glass.

Cackles erupt in the corner where the group of women stand. I glance over at them, Layla and Jane are grinning at whatever one of the other girls are saying. My eyes roam over the group. All of them are wearing skin-tight dresses, heels that would make my ankles sore, and enough makeup to supply ten drag queens. I glance down at the light blue dress I’m wearing. It is speckled with white daisies and hits just above my knees. Compared to all of them, I feel like I’m dressed for a Sunday Service.

Aside from the silk lavender dress that was destroyed in my fall, I never wear anything like that. My normal makeup ismaybea little concealer and mascara. There was never time to sit in front of a mirror and take care of myself. It was always about Jeremy. But now, staring at the giggling group of women, I start to understand more and more why Sandy wanted a makeover in Grease. Men like Holden don’t want women like me. They want the sex appeal. Something I’ve never had.

I suck in a breath and get back to pouring shots, shaking my head as I try to get rid of the doubt lingering in my head. NothingHolden has said or done has made me feel like he doesn’t want me. Hell, spending the last two days locked in the apartment exploring each other should be my first clue. But I can’t help but feel that icky bubbling in my gut that makes me wonder if I am truly enough for him.

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