Page 1 of Redeemed

Chapter one

All His Fault

Hecouldseehisbreath. It formed puffy clouds in front of his face, blocking his view of the room. He continued to search, calling her name. He nearly tripped over a small foot clad in a pink pump at his feet. Maggie! He yelled for help. His limbs were like blocks of ice as he tried to get them to move. He tried desperately to reach her. She seemed to move farther and farther away from him the harder he tried. Everything was white. The freezing fog surrounded him, and he kept losing sight of that one small pink foot that gave him a direction to follow. He had to get to her. This was all his fault. Blue lips suddenly flashed in his vision. Her lips were blue. Oh, God, he had to reach her. Had to get her out of here. There she was. He could touch her now. He picked her up. She was so small in his arms. So cold. It was like picking up a block of ice. Her arms and legs hung across his arms, lifeless- a broken doll he didn’t know how to fix. He heard voices screaming around him. He spun, not knowing what to do. All his fault. She was dead and it was all his fault. A ragged scream tore from his throat.

“Noooo!” JT cried as he bolted upright in bed. His body was slick with sweat, the covers tangled around his legs. He kicked them away and lurched up to sit on the side of the bed. He scrubbed his hands across his face and through his hair until it was standing on end.The goddamn dream again. When was it ever going to stop?It had been several months since the event that caused his nightmares, and his sister was fine. Maggie was floating on cloud nine, in fact. Her husband, Zane, was moving to Gladewater from Dallas to start the Heart & Brain Center with their friend, Dani. They were house hunting like mad, disgustingly in love, and expecting twins for God’s sake. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t move past this. Yes, he could. Because it was his fault. He’d been thinking with his dick and brought that crazy bitch, Shawna, to Dani and Levi’s rehearsal dinner and she’d almost killed his sister.

He growled at himself and stalked off to the bathroom. He stripped off his sweat–soaked pajama bottoms and leaned on the sink, regarding himself in the mirror. Dark circles were taking up permanent residence under his chocolate brown eyes from lack of sleep and his normally honeyed complexion was sallow in the harsh lighting. He knew he couldn’t blame the fluorescents, though. He hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in months and his appetite was off. If he didn’t make himself get into the gym soon, the muscles padding his long limbs were going to deteriorate and he was going to look like a scarecrow. He ran a hand over the thick blonde stubble on his jaw. He needed a shave but figured one more day wouldn’t make any difference.

“Fuck!” he barked in frustration as he flung open the shower door and stepped into the steaming spray. He let the water beat down on top of his head for several long moments before grabbing the shampoo. His brown sun-kissed hair was longer than usual and was starting to curl at his neck. He couldn’t be bothered to care. He hadn’t felt the need to look presentable lately. Since he was in the kitchen all the time at Common Grounds - the cafe and catering company he ran with his sister, Maggie – and sworn off dating sincethe incidentwith Shawna, his appearance just didn’t seem important.

He obviously had no decent radar to ward off the crazy and he couldn’t take the chance of anything like that happening again. His little sister was too important to him to risk it. Beforethe incident, however, JT had thought of himself as somewhat of a ladies’ man. He liked women. He liked being around them. He especially liked them in his bed, or on a table, or in his truck. His body was frequently letting him know it hadn’t cast a vote for his self-inflicted celibacy.

This morning was no exception and the water cascading down his body had his cock standing to attention despite the nightmare. It didn’t take much stimulation these days and taking himself in hand was becoming an all too frequent occurrence. However, it was that or finding a willing woman and that was definitely a no-go. JT’s hand moved to circle his hardening shaft ready to get the job done. He braced himself against the slick tiles and stroked himself quickly. Bringing himself off had become a routine, a chore he had to get through, to make that part of his body leave him alone for a few hours, so he could focus and get his work done. His hand moved faster aided by the slickness of the soap. He worked very hard to not bring up any female images in his head to help. They all seemed to morph into Shawna’s too fake face these days. Easier not to use any imagination and just feel the mechanics of his palm on his flesh. He uttered a low groan as he felt the familiar tingle starting at the base of his spine. His balls drew up hard and a low moan escaped his lips as his release overtook him. He stood still, catching his breath as his cock, finally placated for a while, went soft in his hand. It was always a hollow victory these days and not the joyful completion of a night of flirting, touching, kissing, and finally fucking that he used to enjoy. He dropped his head to the cool tiles as his breathing returned to a normal rhythm.Something has to fucking give.

He had cinnamon rolls in the oven and was grinding up some fresh pork from a local farmer to make sausage when the door to the kitchen swung open. Sofia blew in with a smile. “Mornin’ boss!”

He didn’t think he had ever seen Sofia Benevides unhappy. Even when customers were giving her a hard time, she maintained her sunny disposition. He didn’t know what he and Maggie would do without her. She wrapped a black apron around her waist and leaned over to grab a coffee cup from the shelf. “So, what are your magical hands making for the specials today?” she asked him cheerily, filling her cup with their fresh, house brew.

JT stopped the grinder and wiped his hands. “Cinnamon rolls and fresh sausage patties for breakfast and I’m falling back on enchiladas with Mexican rice for lunch. I came in last night and made them up so they’d be ready to go first thing today.” He gestured toward the large pans in the fridge as he opened it and stored inside. “I’ve also got some of that ground bison left so you can add bison tacos with pickled red onion and cilantro.”

Sofia wrinkled her nose and JT shook his head. He was well aware of her aversion to the herb. “You’re the only person I know who doesn’t like cilantro but, if it will make you feel better, I’ll just sprinkle some on top and they can pick it off if they want.”

Sofia gave him a look over her coffee cup. “It takes like soap. I can’t believe with your palate, you can’t taste that!”

“It doesn’t. You’re just weird,” he told her, but a smile tugged at his lips, a shadow of the JT she was used to though dark circles showed under his chocolate brown eyes.

He hoped the teasing about the cilantro would redirect her attention from the fact that he was in the kitchen late again last night. Unlike his sister, Sofia rarely chastised him about the longer hours he had been keeping the last few months, though he was well aware that she worried about him. Everyone seemed to be worried about him these days despite the carefree front he tried to keep up. “JT, it’s your business and all but...”

“I know, you don’t have to say it,” he interrupted. “I’m working too much, not taking care of myself, need to get out more, yada yada yada. I’m fine, really.”

Sofia didn’t look like she believed him one bit, but she didn’t contradict him. She simply sipped her coffee and gazed at him with her expressive eyes. They were espresso brown, almost black, and tilted up just a bit in the corners.How have I never noticed that before?

“Really, Sofia, I’m fine,” he repeated as she continued to gaze at him knowingly.

“Did I say anything, boss?” she replied with a quirk of her lips. “I’ll just go get the specials on the board.” With a flip of her long, black ponytail, she went back through the swinging doors and out to the cafe.

JT shook his head and gave a wry smile. He didn’t need Sofia to tell him he needed to get his shit together. He knew. He just didn’t know how.

Chapter two

Finding a Husband

Sofiapushedthroughtheswinging doors back into the dining room to address the specials board for the day. After working with JT for so many years, she knew better than to push him to express his feelings as that was the quickest way to get him to shut down. She couldn't get over her concerns, however. JT had withdrawn from his friends, his business, his life since his sister was nearly killed. No one had been able to convince him that he was not responsible for Maggie's attack just because he had unknowingly brought his brother-in-law, Zane's, crazy ex-girlfriend to the party as his date. She missed his easy, trademark 1,000-watt smile and his constant teasing. He didn’t even bicker with Maggie anymore. He seemed to walk on eggshells around her and she couldn’t miss the way his eyes constantly followed his sister around the cafe when he wasn’t cooking. He seemed to always be waiting for something dire to happen.

Even so, she couldn’t deny the pull he had on her, the attraction she’d had for him almost from the start. She’d never acted on it and was pretty sure he’d never seen her as anything other than their waitress, or more recently, their front of house manager. Unlike most of her jobs before, he’d never put even the slightest move on her. She appreciated that he had always treated her as a professional but, she had to admit, she wouldn’t say no to a little extra attention at this point. Her feelings for him since the incident had only intensified. She wanted him to lean on her but had no idea how to encourage him to do so.He’s your boss. You’re just going to have to get over it already.

It didn’t help that her mother and sister were constantly worrying about her finding a man and settling down. Her family was very traditional. Very protective. Overprotective in Sofia's estimation. At thirty, they were panicking that she was going to end up la solterona, a spinster, with a house full of cats if she didn’t find some man to marry and take care of her soon. Though they wanted her to have the security they felt marriage provided, no one seemed to ever be good enough for her either. They had liked one guy she had dated and that had been back in high school. That relationship blew up when he had left for college. Since then, there hadn't been many men who caught her attention and those who did, didn't live up to her mamá's high standards.

They expected her to be more like her sister – married with kids and staying home to care for her family. They couldn’t understand why it didn’t bother her to work long hours at the café and work on marketing for the catering and event side of the business on top of that. They always told her how proud they were of her, yet, in the end they really just wanted to see her married. They didn't want to hear about the sense of purpose and accomplishment it gave her. Not to mention, it kept her next to JT. Of course, she couldn't tell them that.

She remembered the discussion she had with her mom and sister last weekend. Sunday dinner had always been one of her favorite times of the week. Sunday was one of the few times she got to catch up with her papá and her brother, Tomás. They worked as long of hours as she did and couldn't stop by the café to visit during the week like her mamá and sister could. It was typical of what she went through every time she was at a family function.

“Mija,” her mother, Evelyn, cajoled. “How are you going to find a husband if all you do is work in that coffee shop? You’ve got to get out and meet new people. New men!”

Her older sister, Selena, who at thirty-two, already had 3.5 children, invariably chimed in. “Yeah, Sofia, you need to get to Dallas and meet some eligible bachelors! You’re never going to find a man in this little hick town. I bet Tia Magda, in Irving, could find you someone. She loves to matchmake! You know she found Cecilia's husband for her."

Selena always conveniently forgot that she had met her husband, Andres, in high school in their ‘little hick town’. Sofia could only roll her eyes and try again. “No! No matchmaking. I’m not looking for a husband. I love my job! And Maggie and JT have made me a manager and are training me to help with the marketing,” Sofia told them for what felt like the millionth time. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need you or Tia Magda to fix me up with some random man.”

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