Page 138 of Hunt for You

I wanted to be wanted like that.

But didn’t Sam want me like that? Wasn’t that what had just happened? He’d wanted so much, he had toflee?Or was it all just some weird religious thing?

I made myself close and lock the front door, but not without a look out into the dark in case a shadow moved and separated from the rest of the night… but there was nothing.

As I walked slowly back to my bedroom, the two men flickered through my mind… like yin and yang—one light, one dark. Both touched by the other.

Cain felt like my evil twin—dark, aggressive, dangerous, And yet… I remembered Cain putting me in that bath, and cleaning my wounds. There was a touch of light in him. Something that made me safe, just for the necessary moments.

Sam felt like sunlight—he brightened the day and made it safer. His quiet strength fed something in me that had been screaming and alone for far too long. And yet… he still possessedthat edge that stole my breath. When he’d let himself give in to it…

Still, they’d both left me. Just left me, hanging in the wind.

Sam seemed like maybe he understood my darkness, but wanted to lead me out of it. And I knew that’s what Ineeded.I knew if I sat in front of Gerald and described these two men, he’d throw me bodily into Sam’s arms, and call the cops on Cain.

I knew I needed a man like Sam who wanted what was good for me.

But Cain…

Cain was whatIwanted.

That tiny, distant voice in the back of my skullshriekedthat Cain and I would destroy each other… While the part of me that needed danger sobbed that Sam would end up watching, helpless, asItipped over the edge…

I was so confused.

Both men made my heart beat faster. Both made me nervous, though for different reasons.

How could I possibly choose?

I knew I’d have to, because neither of them was going to share.

But when I got to my bedroom and threw my clothes in the hamper, still feeling strange and off-balance, andhorny,as I slipped between the covers and slipped my hand between my legs, it hit me.

Hard.

My eyes flew open and I froze, mind racing…

Visions of Cain in pursuit… fighting…winning.

Everything I wanted.

Visions of Sam, carrying the pain and darkness because he empathized with me…

Everything I needed, but…

I took a long, slow breath and started to grieve a little bit. Because there was no choice.

Sam wasn’t just going to lead me into light, he wouldfightthe darkness in me—and I didn’t think that was a battle either of us could win. So what would happen when he finally figured out that I was always going to be dark?

I knewexactlywhat would happen.

Cain and I were mutually assured destruction.

But Sam… I would just destroyhim.

Which meant there was no choice. It had to be Cain.

But the risk…

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