Page 87 of Ordinary Girl

My stomach is in knots, I don’t know what to believe. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Would you like your old life back, Ana?”

Why is he doing this? Why is he saying this? I’d give anything to have my old life back, of course I would, but that can’t happen. My old life is gone. It’s gone. “I want you to go,” I whisper, because I do, want him to go. This isn’t right.

“I can put you back in touch with Lars and Lea. I can set you all up somewhere, away from here, in Norway. I can make sure you all have a brand new start, I can keep you safe, Ana. All of you.”

“That isn’t giving me my old life back, it’s just moving me some place new, to start over. Again. I’ve already done that.”

“You don’t want to see Lars and Lea again? You don’t want to see your friends? Aren’t they like family to you?”

“Yes. They were.” Were? When did I start thinking about Lars and Lea in the past tense? When did that happen?

He leans back against the window-ledge, crossing his arms, his eyes down. “You aren’t safe with those people, Ana. That club.” He raises his gaze to meet mine. I’m still feeling nothing.

“I’m as safe as I need to be.” I don’t even know what that means, I just want this man to go. He’s a stranger, he’s never going to be anything else.

He shakes his head, glancing back over his shoulder, he’s keeping watch. “I’ve been watching everyone, Ana. And I think you already know I’m working with the Blackhawks.” His eyes meet mine again, turning darker and colder. “The men who killed your mama.”

“Why? Why work with them when you know what they’ve done?”

“It makes the endgame easier to achieve.”

It all sounds so sinister, and yeah, I get the irony. I’m hardly involved with the good guys, but there’s something about what’s happening here, what he’s telling me, that’s making me nervous. Wary. Worried…

“What endgame?” I can ask that question, but I have a feeling I’m not going to get an answer.

“I came here for you, Ana. I came here to make up for everything I did wrong, and I know it might seem like it’s too late, but I came as soon as I could. When circumstances would allow.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“And that is understandable. But just know that, right now, I’m probably the only person youcantrust.”

I doubt that. But I leave it unsaid.

“Joel Madsen isn’t someone you should be involved with.” He has his back to me again, but it looks like he’s signaling to someone outside, he obviously hasn’t come alone. And I feel those nerves ramp up, my stomach turning over and over.

“He’s been good to me,” I say quietly. “He’s been kind.”

“He’s sleeping with you.” He turns back around, his eyes once more dark as they bore into mine. “An older man, with his reputation, you should be very wary, Ana.”

I shake my head, he isn’t doing this. And then, all of a sudden, his entire demeanor changes. It’s like a switch has been flicked, everything about him is different, and it throws me.

“Please, Ana, I need you to believe me. I need you to know that everything I did, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, and if I could turn back time: if I could change it all I would, because there wasn’t a day went by when I didn’t think about you and Sofia, and it tore me apart, knowing what I’d done. But I couldn’t change it. Couldn’t walk away from what I’d done, they would’ve killed me.”

There’s something in his eyes that makes me think there actually might be some element of truth in what he’s telling me, but there’s also a part of me that’s screaming at me to be careful. To take a step back and think about this.

“But now, well, thingshavechanged,” he continues. “I’m running the show, now, and I can give you everything I couldn’t give you before.”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

He drops his gaze, his shoulders tensing. And when he looks up there’s a sadness in his eyes that, for a second, throws me again. And I don’t like it.

“I’m not lying about Lars and Lea. I’m not lying when I tell you I can give you a new life, a better life than this one, you shouldn’t be here. You deserve so much more than this.”

“I’m happy.”

“Are you?”

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