Page 38 of Ordinary Girl

“What did you do, back in your old life?” I’m taking a gamble here. Getting her to talk about her old life could either make her feel more comfortable, or it could make things worse, but I kind of want to know more about her.

She sits back in her seat, her fingers pulling at a thin sliver of steak on the half-eaten slice of pizza in front of her. “I ran a small business, with Lars and Lea. My best friends. The ones you’ve told me I can’t see anymore.”

I ignore that obvious dig. “What kind of business was it?”

She takes a breath, her eyes down. “We ran a bohemian clothes store together, the three of us. Well, I say it was aclothes store but we sold everything from clothing to jewelry to accessories. It was doing really well..."

She tails off, once more turning her head to stare out of the window, but I don’t miss the tears starting to fall from her eyes. Man, this is tough. And I’m not sure I’m the right person for this job, but I guess I got to follow orders. Skip wants me to keep her close, so I’ve just got to suck it up and do that.

“Listen, Ana, I’m sorry, okay? Sorry that we’ve fucked everything up for you, but maybe we can fix that–”

“How?” she interrupts, her head snapping back around, angry eyes meeting mine. “How the hell can you fix it? What are you going to do, exactly? Are you going to get me my business back…?”

“Maybe.”

Anger turns to confusion but she doesn’t take her eyes off me. “That’s not possible. Is it?”

“Anything’s possible, Ana. If you put your mind to it.”

She looks right into my eyes, a stare so intense I feel it hit me square in the solar plexus.

“It’s not possible to bring my mama back.”

I break the stare: drop my gaze, I don’t know what more I can do here. And for a minute or two there’s nothing but silence between us, before she breaks it.

“I’m sorry.”

I look up. Her eyes don’t carry that anger anymore, they’re just tired. Her expression’s weary, the weight of her new reality is finally hitting home.

“I’m trying to accept all of this, but I can’t move forward, Joel. I can’t do it. Because all I see is this bleak, dark future ahead of me, and I can’t accept that this is all I have now.”

“Itwillget easier, believe me.”

“Will it?”

I smile, I want her to relax, although, I think I might be asking a little too much there. And she doesn’t smile back, of course she doesn’t. But she doesn’t look away, either. “Yeah, it will. And hanging with us won’t be all that bad, we can be a lot of fun when we want to be.”

She raises an eyebrow again, the faintest hint of a smile forming at the corners of her mouth, but it fades away as quick as it appeared.

“I miss my life,” she says quietly, her eyes boring into mine, and I swear, for a second there, I could physically feel her pain. Her sadness. And I keep calling her a kid but she’s so far from that. She’s a woman who’s had her entire world turned upside down and we’re just trying to help her pick up the pieces.

“I know.”

She turns her head away again, picks up her slice of pizza and eats it while looking out of the window, and I let her have that moment. She’s eating, she’s starting to talk, I’m taking that as progress.

“Can I really trust you?” she asks, without looking at me.

“I already told you, you can trust me. You can trust all of us.”

She turns her head, sad eyes once more locking on mine. “You keep telling me that. I just want to know if I can trustyou.”

“You can trust me, Ana.”

“Okay.”

That’s all she says before turning her head away from me again. And I watch her, this young woman who once seemed to have everything is now trying to get her head around suddenly having nothing, except us and an uncertain future. And that’s just something she’s going to have to get used to, because nobody can change that. Nobody…

Seventeen

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