Page 30 of Ordinary Girl

I’m sounding whiny again, and I spin back around to face the window, resting my forehead against the glass as I stare outside.

“I just want to be alone,” I whisper, except that, I don’t. I don’t want to be alone, I want my mama. But she’s never coming back, and I don’t know if I’ll ever come to terms with that: with the way she was taken from me.

I hear the door close, Kasper’s gone, and I turn back around, sinking to the floor as tears start to stream down my face. I need to grieve now. Properly. And then I need to get out of here.

Fourteen

Joel

“You seen Ana today?” Skip climbs off his bike and throws his helmet down on the seat.

“Just about to send one of the prospects over to see how she’s settling in.” I take a drag on my cigarette.

Skip looks at me through narrowed eyes. “I want her underyourwatch, Joel.”

“And I’ve got way more important shit to be doing. Crap like that isn’t my responsibility, it’s a prospect’s job.” I throw the cigarette down on the ground and grind it into the concrete. “Jep’s on it. He’s a good kid, he’ll make sure she’s alright.”

Skip takes a step toward me, his eyes locked on mine. “She’s family now.Myfamily. And if I tell you to look after her then I expect you to do just that, do you understand?”

“Seriously, Skip? You want me to waste time babysitting when we’ve got a fucking war to fight?”

“All I’m asking you to do is check in on her, make sure she’s okay, I’m not asking you to shadow her. Just let her know you’re there, if she needs you. Let her know we’re all there. It’s a simple fucking job, Joel.”

He walks away and I lean back against my bike, look up at the sky and sigh. Dag and Freja’s place is no more than a five minute ride from the clubhouse, and there’s not much going on here right now. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to pay her a quick visit.

She’s outside when I pull up onto the driveway, sitting on the steps of the porch nursing a mug of something, her expression indifferent when she looks at me, for a second, before diverting her gaze back out front. Dag and Freja live on a pretty, tree-linedstreet. Standard suburbia. A far cry from the clubhouse and compound they’ve both spent a good chunk of their lives in. Not so much now, but they’ll never be able to give it up for good. This life seeps so deep into you it’s impossible to let it go completely.

Laying my helmet down on the seat of my bike I make my way over to Ana, stopping at the bottom of the steps and leaning back against the railings.

“You okay?”

She nods, without looking at me. She keeps her gaze fixed out front.

“Settling in alright?”

Another nod. She’s determined she’s not going to give me much more, but I don’t give up that easily.

I sit down next to her, and even though I don’t touch her I can sense her body stiffen. She wants me to leave her alone, but I can’t do that.

“I’m not the enemy, Ana.”

She blinks a few times, raises her eyes to the sky, biting down on her lip before she looks at me again. And even though she’s trying to give off this brash exterior, the sadness inside of her is obvious.

“Why aren’t the police involved? Why aren’t they investigating my mama’s death?”

I drag a hand through my hair and take a deep breath. She was always going to ask questions, even though I think she already knows enough to be able to answer that one for herself. “You know why, Ana.”

“Shit like this, it gets dealt with in-house, huh? Is that it?”

She’s angry, and she has every right to be. But she’s going to have to find a way to deal with that anger, and accept what’s happening here.

“This world, Ana, it isn’t pretty. Its rules are brutal and fucked up but it’s the world we’re living in.”

“It doesn’t have to bemyworld,” she says, shifting her gaze to me. Her eyes lock on mine, and there’s an anger in hers that both surprises and shocks me.

“For now, it has to be. And believe me, Ana, we will deal with the Blackhawks. We’ll avenge your mama’s death, have no doubt about that.”

She turns her head away, lifts a hand and wipes her eyes with the back of it.

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