“I’m not a child. I don’t need babysitting.”
“Yeah. You do.”
I narrow my eyes and try to ignore the throbbing ache pounding away at the sides of my temples. It always happens, when whatever concoction of shit they’re giving me starts to wear off. “I don’t want to stay here.”
“You don’t have a choice, kid.”
He gets up, leaves the room, and seconds later one of the club girls comes in with a fresh glass of water and a handful of pills, which I take willingly.
I have to bury my mama today. And I don’t want to remember any of it.
Twelve
Joel
Idon’t know how much of it she took in – the funeral. But we gave her mama a good send off. In the end, she was one of us. She was carrying Skip’s baby. Both of them killed by bastards we’ve vowed to take down, so she got the kind of goodbye she deserved. And Ana, she got through it on a cocktail of drugs and denial, clinging onto the hands of Freja and Elise throughout. She kept her head down, didn’t look up as Sofia’s coffin was lowered into the ground.
The police were there, of course they were. Watching us. Watching Ana. But we’ve got Rik on our side, and whatever shit he’s fed them, they seem to be keeping their distance now. It needs to stay that way. And Ana’s friends – Lars and Lea – they were there, too. Friends she claimed were like family, a family Ana could’ve remained a part of, if Sofia had died under less sinister circumstances. But we can’t let that happen, not now. Those friends of hers, they need to keep their distance, for their own good. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, and the last thing we want is for more innocent people to get hurt. So this is the way it has to be, and Ana will understand that. In time. And I’m not even sure she knew they were there, in all honesty. Her friends. We kept her away from them, made sure they didn’t come near her, it wouldn’t have done any of them any good. Everyone needs to move on. And Rik, he’s spoken to Lars and Lea. He’s told them all they need to know to make sure they give Ana space. Make sure they don’t contact her. Whatever relationship they all had, it’s over now. Just like her mama,Ana’s now one of us, whether she likes it or not. Skip’s made that decision, and the rest of us, we just have to run with that.
“Where is she?” Skip asks, leaning over the bar to grab a beer.
I jerk my head back. “In her room. But she can’t stay here forever. She’s got to have some place else to live, you thought about that yet?”
“Freja and Dag are taking her in. She’s gonna be the daughter they never had.”
“Everything’s worked out just fine then, huh?”
Skip eyes me warily. “You got a problem, Joel?”
“What exactly are we doing here, Skip? I mean, right now she’s dosed up to the eyeballs on tranquilizers but she’s got to come off those eventually ‘cause we got no time to be nursing any addiction. She’s got to come off that shit and start dealing with whatever world we seem hell bent on thrusting her into.”
“She’ll be fine. She just needs time.”
“That simple, huh?”
Skip’s expression is still wary, his eyes narrowed. “Again, you got a problem?”
“She’s just a kid.”
“She’s an adult. And yeah, she’s been through some tough shit, but all I’m trying to do here is look after her. Make sure she stays safe. That’s why Dag and Freja taking her in is the best option. They’ll take care of her, and believe me, Joel, that takes a huge weight off my shoulders.”
“If Ana’s that much of a problem why not just let her leave?”
“Because she’s Sofia’s daughter. She’s my family now, and I’m not letting her go. Sofia would want me to look after her, make sure she comes to no harm.” Skip takes a breath: runs a hand along the back of his neck. “She’s a beautiful kid, takes after her mama in that respect. And one day…” He drops his head, takes another breath, “those bastards out there, she’sgonna fall for one of them.” He looks at me, right into my eyes. “I’d rather that didn’t happen.”
“You’re kind of putting her right in the eye of the storm, don’t you think? Throwing her into this life.”
“You got any better ideas?”
“Jesus, Skip, it just seems so unfair. She didn’t ask for this. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“No. She doesn’t. But I need to make it up to her, not cast her aside, because that’s what we’d be doing if we just let her go. She has nothing now. She has no one.”
No. He’s wrong. She has people. We just can’t let her near them. Or won’t, I’m really not sure which one, in reality.
“And she blames me. Ana, she blames me – she blames this place, for Sofia’s death. If she hadn’t met me her mama would still be alive, that’s how she sees it.”
“And she’s not wrong, is she? You going to tell her about the baby?”