Page 85 of Ordinary Girl

“Joel gone?” She casts a glance around the store.

“Just now.” I’m not even going to mention his out-of-the-blue request for me to move in with him, because I still think it was something he was thinking rather than something he meant to say out loud. I don’t think he’s serious. It’s too soon, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of commitment. I’m not sure I know what my feelings for Joel really are, I just know I feel safe with him. I know I want to be around him. I think that’s probably enough, for now.

“Well, I think we’re almost done for the day here. Do you agree?” Cady smiles.

I nod and smile too and go back behind the counter. “Yeah. I think we’ve done enough for one day.”

“You can go home now, kiddo. I’ll cash up and lock up.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’ve got nothing planned for tonight, just thought I’d head over to the clubhouse after this. You got anything going on?”

I shake my head. “No. Probably just going to have a quiet night in front of the TV, to be honest. It’s been a long day.”

“You not seeing Joel?”

“There’s some meeting at the clubhouse so I’m guessing they’re all going to be busy for a while. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You will. Have a good night.”

I leave the store and start walking along the street, I might pop into the deli on the way home and grab something for dinner. I’ve got the house to myself this evening, Dag and Freja are going to the local theater for some charity event tonight and I can’t be bothered to cook just for me. The deli does a great chicken pasta, all I’ll need to do is reheat it.

I’m just about to head into the deli when my eyes wander across the street, to where that dark green car had been parked just a few minutes ago. It’s not there now, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I hadn’t want to tell Joel, I’d fought with myself all day about mentioning it because he over reacts, but I’d found it a little unsettling, the fact it’s been there, sporadically, throughout the course of the day. But it’s gone now. Although I’m not sure that makes me feel a whole lot safer, it just means I’ll keep my wits about me.

I buy the pasta dish and some fresh bread to go with it and head for the bus stop. It’s not too far a walk home, but I’m tired and hungry and the whole parked car thing is making me a little uneasy. I just want to get home as quickly as possible, and I’m relieved not to be the only one at the bus stop. Even more relieved that the bus comes just a couple of minutes later, and within fifteen minutes I’m home, the doors are locked, andI have the whole evening ahead of me. I can do anything I want, and to be honest, that’s a luxury I’m still getting used to.

I run upstairs and jump in the shower, wash my hair, and change into sweats and an oversized Tee, letting my damp hair dry naturally around my shoulders. Heading back downstairs I pop my pasta and bread into the oven to reheat and pour myself a glass of wine, switching on the TV, which I watch as I wait for my food to warm through. And once that’s done I sit down at the kitchen table and tuck into the pasta. The huge chunks of chicken and tomato laced with fresh herbs and olive oil are delicious, as is the fresh bread, which is perfect for soaking up the light, herby sauce. I’d had no idea how hungry I was until I sat down to enjoy this meal-for-one. It’s the perfect end to a rather perfect day, and I haven’t had many of those lately. Not for a long time. And I let my mind wander, as it does every single day, to my mama. How much I miss her. I’ll always miss her, and I’m not sure time is going to be a great healer for me, no matter what anybody says. I can’t see the pain of her death ever subsiding, if anything it feels like it’s getting tougher to deal with. Harder to accept.

I quickly blink back tears and get up, put my empty plates into the dishwasher and refill my wine before heading into the living room. And I’m just about to curl up on the couch with a movie or some Netflix drama I haven’t seen yet when there’s a knock at the door. And I feel my stomach clench, because I’m alone, and that’s what I’d wanted, I hadn’t wanted to be shadowed or watched anymore, but sometimes I think I’d quite like that safety net again, despite my earlier protestations. Because my father’s back, and that unnerves me.

Getting up, I go over to the window, and my stomach clenches even tighter when I see the car parked up outside. The same car that had been parked on and off over the course of the day across the street from the store. I’d known all along whowas in that car, of course I had, and I think Joel knew, too. I just hadn’t wanted to admit it. But I’d had no idea that he knew where I was staying, and then I realize how naïve that sounds. Of course he knew. He’s watching me.

There’s another rap on the door and I move away from the window, angry that he’s come here to ruin what had been turning out to be a pretty nice evening. But he isn’t going to go away. He never was. It was stupid of me to even think he might.

I open the door and take a step back. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I couldn’t leave it the way we left it the other day, Ana. That was unfinished business, and I’ve never been the kind of man to leave business unfinished.”

“I was fine with it.” I cross my arms and shrug, I don’t want him here. And if Dag and Freja knew he was here, I’m sure they wouldn’t like it. More to the point, if Joel gets wind of this visit…

“Can we just talk? Please?”

I stare at him, right into his eyes, which are the color of dark blue steel, ice cold. Mama had kind eyes. A mix of blue and green and they were always warm.

I stand aside to let him in, because it’s pointless arguing. He isn’t going to go away.

“Thank you.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” I repeat, like saying it a second time is going to make any kind of difference.

I close the front door behind him, but those nerves in my gut won’t subside, even though I’m certain he won’t hurt me. Almost certain. Because I know more about him now, who he really is. What he might be capable of. But he still doesn’t scare me.

He looks around the simply decorated but incredibly homely hallway. “This seems like a very welcoming place. Are you staying with someone from the club?”

Does he honestly expect me to believe he has no idea whose house this is? “You already know who I’m staying with.”

My eyes challenge him, and he smiles. “Yes. I do. I should give you more credit. You know this world a lot better than you should.”

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