Page 80 of Ordinary Girl

She says that with more than a hint of resignation, almost as if she knew it was coming.

“Like you said, Joel, I’m not naïve. I had a feeling this was the way it was going to go.”

I don’t know whether I feel relief or fear, that we’re pushing her into something she shouldn’t have to do, but Emil Renard is no ordinary estranged father. He’s a dangerous man with adangerous point to prove. And I think I know exactly what that point is, and how he makes it, that’s the bit we should all be worried about.

“Joel?”

Her voice shakes me out of those thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I take another breath, and it’s just starting to hit me how out of my depth I’m beginning to feel where she’s concerned. I’m too involved, in way too fucking deep, but it’s too late to drag myself out of it now, and what’s more, I don’t want to do that. She means something to me, and in the beginning the last thing I wanted to do was be her fucking shadow, but now – now I need to be that, and more. Because nobody is going to hurt her. Nobody.

“What does Skip want me to do?” Her voice is calm. Gentle. It’s like she can sense I’m not happy with everything and she just wants to make my life that little bit easier.

“He just wants you to keep seeing him. Get him onside. Make him trust you.”

“And then maybe he’ll talk, huh?”

Our eyes lock, and I just want to get back on my bike and take her away from all of this, and for a split second I almost ready myself to do that. And then I stop. I can’t do that, it would only complicate everything. “Maybe he’ll talk, yeah.”

She cocks her head slightly, narrowing her eyes. “What do you think is going on, Joel? Why doyouthink my dad’s come back?”

“He wants revenge. Simple as that.”

“So do you. So do I. So does Skip. Why does it matter that my father wants that, too?”

“Because he’s going about it in a cryptic way. He appears to have aligned himself with the Hawks, and that’s what’s odd. Why would he align himself with the club who actually fired thebullet that killed Sofia? It doesn’t make sense. And he knows, Ana – he knows you’re here, with us, with the Vikings…” I leave that sentence hanging, turn my head away, and take another deep breath.

“So? Look, would it not be better if you, you know, maybe, talked to him…?”

“Jesus, Ana, seriously?”

She flinches and edges away from me, and I take another breath, exhaling slowly.

“I’m sorry. It’s just – it feels out of our control, and we’re not used to that. And now we’re not just looking at dealing with the Hawks, we’ve now got your father to think about, and whatever it is he’s got planned.”

She reaches out and gently, although a little warily, touches my arm, and I lay my hand over hers and smile. So does she. And for a moment everything feels normal and ordinary and okay. It feels okay, even if it isn’t.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s going to tell me anything useful. But I’ll go back and see him, if that’s what you want.”

It isn’t what I want. It’s so far from what I want, but it’s what Skip claims we need. I’m not so sure it is. Not anymore. In fact, encouraging her to keep on seeing him, I think that could backfire on us. On me.

“I need to talk to Skip.” I get up, pulling her up with me. “Come on. I’ll take you back to the shop.”

“We haven’t touched any of our food… Joel?”

“You can take it back with you, for you and Cady.”

“What’s happened, Joel?”

“I just need to talk to Skip.”

“Is everything okay?”

I grab my helmet and hand her hers. “This is a mess, Ana. And right now it feels like your father has the upper hand, and we can’t allow that to happen.”

“I know. I get that. And I’ve already told you I’ll do whatever you need me to do…”

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