Page 43 of Ordinary Girl

I raise an eyebrow, the corner of my mouth inching up a little. “Wouldn’t I?”

“Don’t be an asshole, Joel.”

“Go. Go on. I’ll tell them I turned my back, you took a chance, and you ran. I’ll take the blame.”

“Skip will only send people out to look for me.”

There’s something in her voice now, an uncertainty. She’s wary of my words, I’m confusing her. I’ve got the upper hand back, and that was necessary.

“I can persuade him to let it go. To letyougo. Skip trusts me, trusts my judgement, so, if you want to go, go.” I jerk my head back toward the door and step aside. “I won’t stand in your way.”

She’s staring me out now, a darkness clouding her blue eyes.

“You’re free to leave, Ana. All you have to do is open that door, and walk out.”

The confusion on her face mounts with each word, each passing second, and even I’m starting to think this tactic could backfire spectacularly. But, deep down, I know she isn’t going anywhere. For all her bravado and hollow threats she knows we’re keeping her safe. She’ll stay, because she needs to. She’s not stupid.

“Do youwantme to go?” she whispers, and the coldness in her eyes is starting to recede, replaced by the sadness that’s been ever present since the day she came to us.

“It’s your decision, Ana. I’m not going to tell you what to do.”

“You aren’t being fair.” She shakes her head and takes a step back from me. “This is bullshit, Joel.”

She turns around, starts to walk away, but I grab her wrist, swing her back around, into my arms, and I kiss her like the fucking world is ending. And she resists, at first, tries to push me away, but that resistance lasts less than a second. Her fingers grasp my T-shirt, her body pressed against mine, and I rest a hand on the small of her back and keep her close because she tastes like fucking heaven.

“I hate you,” she murmurs, her mouth still touching mine, her breath shallow, I can feel her heart beating against my chest. And I just laugh, and kiss her again, and this time her fingers are in my hair, pulling at it as the kiss deepens, man, she’s freakin’ killing me! This is dangerous shit, and I shouldn’t have gone here, I thought the days of thinking with my dick were long gone, but, I’m not sure that’s actually what’s happening here. “No!”

As soon as the word is out of her mouth, I let her go. I step back. She puts her hands on her hips and bows her head, her shoulders heaving as she struggles to catch her breath.

“Look, Ana, I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”

“What are you sorry for?” She lifts her head: looks me right in the eye. “I’mnot sorry.”

I don’t know what I’m feeling now. Don’t know what’s happening here. All I know is shit’s changed. Something’s shifted. Ana isn’t the kid I first thought she was, she’s a woman who’s had her world turned inside out and did I just take advantage of that?

“We can’t do this,” I whisper, even though I don’t mean that. With every fiber of my fucking being I want to do this.

“Too dangerous, huh?”

For me, yeah. For her, too.

She grabs her jacket from the counter and shrugs it on. “Come on, then. Take me home.”

“I thought you didn’t have one of those.”

“I’ve got a temporary one.” Her eyes once more lock on mine, and I feel a kick to the gut I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. It’s hard, and it fucking hurts. “But know this, Joel. Everything I said before, I meant it. This isn’t my world, and I’m not staying here forever.”

Maybe she means that. Maybe she doesn’t. Right now, I’m not going to argue with her.

Nineteen

Ana

For the next few days I toe the line. Do as I’m told. I haven’t got the energy to do otherwise. It’s been too much, finding out that Lars and Lea have just disappeared without a trace, or that’s what it feels like, anyway. And that scares me. Did this club have anything to do with that? Are my friends okay? Where did they go? So many questions still remain unanswered but I’ve given up trying to find out what’s really going on. Nobody’s going to tell me anything, so why bother?

“Ana, you have a visitor.” Freja pokes her head around my bedroom door and smiles at me. I love Freja. She’s the kindest person I know, with the biggest heart. I don’t think I would be getting through any of this if it wasn’t for her and Dag.

“Who is it?”

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