Page 42 of Ordinary Girl

“Yeah.” She can tell I’ve got my tongue firmly in my cheek. “Of course you have.”

I grab another beer from the fridge and lean back against the center island. You’ve got a lot to learn about us, Ana. How we work. How we live.”

She finishes her sandwich and wipes her hands on her jeans. And you’re going to teach me, are you?”

I smile again, but say nothing. I just look at her, because the more I do that, the more I can see the kind of woman she really is: who she was, before the shit hit the fan and we became her world.

“I really should get you home.”

“Don’t keep calling it that. It isn’t my home.” She slides down from the countertop, putting her empty plate into the sink as she downs a long draft of beer. “And I don’t want to go back there. Not yet.”

The strange thing is, I’m not sure I want her to go, but she should. I don’t like what’s happening here, I don’t understand it, and I need it to stop.

“Doesn’t matter. I should still take you back.”

She turns around, her eyes hard as they stare into mine. “Do you want me to go?”

“Get your jacket. Come on.”

“Do you want me to go?”

What kind of shit is this? What the fuck is she doing? “Just get your jacket, Ana. I’m not in the mood for this crap.”

She shakes her head, comes over to me, and she’s smiling. She’s fucking playing me. “I told you, I don’t want to go yet.”

“And I told you I’m taking you home.”

“So youaretired of playing babysitter, then?”

She reaches out, places a hand on my chest, and I quickly remove it. “Why did Skip ask you to do that?”

“Do what?” I’m starting to get irritated now.

“Look after me. Why didn’t he get one of the younger guys to do that? Prospects, isn’t that what you call them?”

“Maybe he thought they couldn’t be trusted. He trusts me.”

“Trusts you to, what? Not touch me?”

“Jesus, Ana, what the fuckisthis? ’Cause let me tell you one thing, sweetheart, you’re playing a really dangerous game here.”

“Who’s playing?”

She holds my gaze, hers doesn’t flinch. Cold eyes stare into even colder ones, and I know I have two choices now: get her out of here, or risk giving into something wrong and dangerous, shit I really don’t need. Shit neither of us needs.

“You think, after everything I’ve been through, I’m in the mood to play games? Is that what you think, Joel?”

“I don’t know what the fuck to think anymore.” I’m done. I’m fucked. I’ve made my choice, and I’ll probably go to hell for it but I’ve given every fuck I had.

“If I’ve really got to stay here, if that really is the only option I have, and I’m still not sure that it is, but if, for now, this is all I’ve got, I might as well live this life. Right? Until I can start a new one, because I will, start a new one, Joel. This isn’t my world, and I don’t ever want it to be.”

“If I was to say to you, walk out that door and don’t look back. You’re free. Would you do it? Would you walk?”

Her gaze remains rock steady, except, was that a flicker I just saw there?

“Would you walk, Ana?”

She doesn’t answer, still holds my gaze, but the flicker is more prominent now. “You wouldn’t do that. You wouldn’t give me that option.”

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