Page 25 of Ordinary Girl

“Why is it dangerous for me to leave here?”

He comes further into the room and sits down on the edge of the worn leather couch in the corner.

“You got mixed up in our shit. Those guys that attacked you, they were from a rival club, one we’ve been fighting a war–”

“A war?” I sit back down on the bed and curl my legs up underneath me.

“We’re fighting for territory. Our clubs, they do business in a very similar way, and there isn’t room for both of us. Something’s got to give. Someone’s got to go. We’d rather it was them, they’d rather it was us.” He shrugs and lights up a cigarette. “They were warning us, the night your mama was murdered…”

He stops talking the second I drop my gaze. My mama was murdered. That’s the first time I’ve heard her death described in that way, and I feel a very real, physical pain rip through my body, but I refuse to cry anymore. Mama wouldn’t want me to cry, she’d want me to be strong, but would she want me to stay here? With these people?

“She died because of some stupid turf war?” Saying the words out loud, it makes me angry. But I’m too exhausted to vent that anger, to let these people see how fucking angry I am.

“It’s not that simple, Ana.”

“Isn’t it?”

His eyes lock on mine, he’s trying to make me understand why all of this happened, but he never will. I’ll never understand why my mama had to die.

“I just want to go home,” I whisper, letting the exhaustion take over. I’m too tired to fight. Too worn down to think straight.

“We killed two of their men, Ana. And I know it sounds twisted, to even imagine that you were to blame for that in any way, but that’s how they’ll see it. The Blackhawks. They could be looking for you, and they’ll know that you’re here, but with us you’ll be safe. You leave, and you’re on your own.”

“What does… are you saying they want to kill me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. They’ll want some kind of payback, I can guarantee that. What form that payback takes, that’s anyone’s guess. So it’s best you stay here. You’ll be safer with us.”

“Mama wouldn’t want me to stay here.”

“Your mama would want you to be safe. Here, you’re safe. Out there, not so much. And I can’t protect you out there, Ana. In here, I can try. I’ll do my fucking best to keep you safe, but for that to happen you have to stay. You have to help us. Work with us. Listen to us.”

I frown, because I still don’t fully understand what he means by that. “Are you – are saying I have to leave everything else behind?”

“What’s out there for you now, huh? Your mama’s gone, you can’t go back home–”

“You promised to help her. You promised to help us keep our house, why can’t I go back there? Why can’t I go back home?”

“Did you hear anything I just said, Ana?”

I take a breath, and I’m fighting back angry, confused tears but I won’t cry in front of him.

“You promised to help us,” I whisper, my eyes locked on his.

“I wasn’t going to just throw money at your mama, Ana. She didn’t want that. She was going to earn that money, and I was going to help her sort out some kind of payment plan–”

“So, helpme.”

He shakes his head, and I feel the anger start to bubble up again.

“How can…? I don’t understand, how can I stayhere? Why can’t I just go back home?”

The drugs are wearing off now, I can feel the fear returning, and I don’t want to be scared, but I am. I’m scared and confused and alone. I feel so fucking alone…

“Listen, Ana, when I tell you you’re in danger if you don’t let us protect you, I’m not spieling you shit. I haven’t got time for that.”

“Why are you so keen to protect me? I mean, you barely knew my mama.”

“I knew enough to know that I was falling for her. Sofia she – she got under my skin, I cared about her. And I know she loved you, so much. She would do anything for you. And she’d want you to be safe, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to keep you safe. For her.”

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