“You don’t need to know the details, alright? This has got nothing to do with you, you stay well away from all of this. Which means you say nothing to Lars or Lea, do you hear me? I just want to get my head down, and finally get us out of this mess. Which I think I can actually do now, with Skip’s help.”
Ana looks at me, and I wonder if I’ve done the right thing. Have I put her in danger by telling her what I’m doing? But she has to know. She comes to see me at work, frequently, for lunch. A chat. She can’t do that now, I’m closing the office. So, she had to know what was happening, but I can’t help feeling a little uneasy, about all of it. Especially now. I crossed another line today, one I should never have stepped over. And yet, thinking about it – thinking abouthim– it still makes me shiver, in the most beautiful way. He excites me, as well as scares me. A potent combination. A dangerous one…?
“What’s the compound like?”
Ana’s voice drags me back to the here and now. “It’s a yard, Ana. It’s nothing special.”
“They’ve got a clubhouse, though. Right? I mean, all of these gangs, they have a bar or somewhere to hang out–”
“You stay away from that place.”
She is going nowhere near that club. I can see it in her eyes, she thinks the men who frequent these places are like the “bad boys” she’s so attracted to. She’s wrong. Those men – the Vikings – they aren’t playing at being bad, it’s in their blood.
“What I’m doing, it’s a necessity, borne out of nothing more than desperation. I’m doing it because I have to, not because I want to. Do you understand?”
She gets up and comes over to me, sliding her arms around my neck from behind, giving me a gentle hug. “I can talk to Lars and Lea, Mama. You’ve seen our books, you know we can help–”
“No, Ana!”
“I can make something up, they don’t need to know what’s really going on. You don’t have to do this.”
I take her hand and squeeze it gently, kissing the back of it. “Yes. I do.”
Seven
Sofia
Days out with my daughter are rare. She’s a busy girl, she has a business to run, a business that isn’t failing, unlike mine. Which is why I no longer work for myself. I closed my business down a few weeks ago, something I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to do, but circumstances saw otherwise. I’m now attached to an outlaw biker club, charged with making their money laundering look legitimate. I could go to jail, I could lose everything anyway, despite me making this choice in order to try and save it all, and that thought still keeps me awake every night: every second of every day I’m wondering if I’ve done the right thing. And then I realize I have no choice. I’m all in, there’s no going back, no changing my mind. I can’t walk away now. I’m trapped.
But today – today is all about forgetting my new, somewhat surreal situation, and enjoying time with Ana. The sun’s shining, it’s warm and bright and we’re heading into Frederiksberg for some lunch and a look around the shops. Ana’s singing along to a playlist she’s created for me, and as I quickly glance at her, my heart breaks because I had to tell her things I never wanted her to know: it breaks for the worry she’ll now take on board, because she will, worry. She just won’t let me see it. And that breaks my heart even more.
“Is that your phone?”
“Hmm…?” I look down at my phone lying screen-up in the center console. “Shit!” Skip’s name is flashing up. “I’ll have to take this.”
I pull over and listen to what Skip has to say. He needs me to come to the compound, now, and as much as I want to ignore his request, I’m not really in a position to do that.
“Something up?” Ana asks, her expression slightly concerned.
“I just need to make a quick detour, to the Vikings’ compound. Skip wants a word, that’s all. It shouldn’t take long.”
“He couldn’t do it over the phone?”
“Apparently not.”
“Okay, well, let’s go.”
I look at my daughter. My beautiful, kind, free-spirited daughter, and I can’t stop a wave of fear rushing over me. She was never supposed to go anywhere near that compound; that club. That world, and her world, they stay separate. That’s the deal I’ve made with myself. She isn’t getting involved in this, any of it.
“When we get to the compound, you stay in the car. Do you hear me, Ana?”
“You do know how old I am, right?”
“It’s becauseI know how old you are that I want you to stay in the car.” She needs to realize I’m serious here. She needs to do that. “I mean it, Ana. You stay in the car.”
“Okay.” She turns her head and stares out of the window and I can’t help but regret the dangerous decision I’ve made now. But I can’t back out, it’s too late.
I have to trust Skip Larsen. And hope he’s a man who keeps his promises.