Page 85 of The Bodyguard

“You were so consumed with punishing Jonah.”

That’s a statement, not a question. So it doesn’t need an answer.

“And yet, Jonah saved Dad’s life. He probably saved mine, too. How the hell did you not know Novak was over there, Ollie? Huh? How the hell did you not know?”

Ollie takes a second, sitting back in his chair, his eyes darting around the peaceful garden. We’re alone out here, apart from the birds and the low hum of traffic somewhere out in the distance.

“Somebody gave us wrong information. They set us up. And because of that; because of Jonah… We let Novak get close to you.” Ollie leans forward and looks at me, and he’s truly sorry, I can see it written all over his face. He’s sorry. “We let him do that, and believe me, I am so fucking sorry.”

“If Jonah hadn’t been there…”

“Yeah, we get it, Lena.” Ollie throws himself back in his chair, he’s frustrated now. On edge. “We know what he did, but at the same time…”

“Do you know what Novak actually wanted with me?”

“He wanted a relationship with you. But you don’t trust men like that.”

I laugh quietly, drop my head and shake it. “Men like that…” I lock eyes with my brother. “Men like you. And Dad.”

“The kind of relationship he wanted… He would’ve used you, Lena. Used you to get to us. To win wars. Cause damage. You would’ve been nothing more than a pawn in his dangerous games, he wants what we have. Hewantedwhat we have. And he saw you as a way to get to all of it. Get tous.”

“You think it’s really over? Just because they got him? He has lieutenants and brothers and family who can take his place just as easily. This war isn’t won by any means, Ollie. You know that.”

Ollie shrugs. “Maybe not. But they’re a whole lot weaker without him. And you can’t be their pawn anymore. This time, we’re ready.”

“Don’t you get tired? Don’t you just want a normal life, one where you don’t spend every hour of every day looking over your shoulder? Tell me honestly, Ollie, do youlikewhat you do?”

“This is my world.” He gives another shrug. “It’s all I’ve known.”

“That’s not an answer.”

He gets up, kicking his chair back under the table, his hands back in his pockets. He doesn’t realise how defensive he’s actually being right now. “Go see Dad.” And then he turns and walks away, and I understand, to a point. I get that this is the only world he’s ever known, it’s all I’ve known, too. It’s just that, now, I want to live in a different one.

~~~

Dad’s sitting behind his ridiculously oversized desk when I walk into his office, although, I don’t go too far in. I remain hovering in the doorway, my eyes flitting around the dimly-lit room. The blinds are almost closed, keeping the strong afternoon sun out, keeping it cool even though we have air conditioning to do that job.

“Ollie said you wanted to see me.”

“I do.” He gets up, and grasping onto the edge of the desk he manages to move out front of it, keeping himself steady without having to use his stick. Because he hates it. He thinks it makes him look weak. But being stubborn, like he is, that won’t make him heal any faster.

He leans back against the desk, his eyes meeting mine. Dark eyes. He’s a dark man. So many secrets lie behind those eyes, and I’m so done with the deceit.

“I wanted to kill him.”

I frown slightly, not, at first, knowing exactly who he’s talking about.

“Jonah. I wanted him dead.”

I drop my gaze and scuff the toe of my Converse against the doorpost, sliding my hands into the pockets of my jeans. And I don’t say a thing. This isn’t a conversation I want to get into.

“But he saved my life.”

I look at my father, and his expression is – well, it’s impassive. I don’t know what he’s really thinking, and it’s always been that way, in reality. I love my dad. I love my brother, my mum, even if they’ve spent my entire life lying to me, I still love them. But I don’t have to like them, or what they did to me. What they hid from me.

“I was falling in love with him,” I say quietly, the words spilling from my lips before I even knew I was saying them.

“I still would’ve killed him.”

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