Page 76 of The Bodyguard

“You were right.”

I look up at him, and frown. “About what?”

“The food. It’s good. Really good.”

I stare back down at my plate of mostly untouched roast pork. It smells delicious, but my appetite isn’t playing ball tonight. “Can we quit with the small talk?” I look back up at him, his eyes locking on mine. “You’re wasting a lot of the two hours I’m willing to give you.”

He lays his fork down and takes a sip of his beer. “Has Novak contacted you?”

“No.”

“What about your father? Your mother? Ollie? Has he contacted any of them?”

“Not that I’m aware of, but would they tell me if he had? And this is starting to sound a lot like an interrogation.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to come across as that, I just…”

“Care about me?” I sigh quietly and shoot a quick glance around the busy outdoor terrace. It’s full tonight, thanks to the beautiful weather we’re having at the moment. “I know you do. You keep telling me you do.” I shift my gaze back to him. Jonah. And I still can’t get used to calling him that. “But if you really cared about me, you’d leave me alone. You’d get out of here, go someplace safe.”

“Is that what you want?”

I don’t know.

Maybe.

I really don’t know…

I drop my head, focus on anything other than him, but I can still feel the weight of his stare on me, and it’s unsettling.

“I want you to be safe.”

Because I know exactly what my father’s capable of. I know what he would do to him, if he knew he was here.

If…?

“Look, Lena, I’m going to be honest with you now…”

My head shoots back up. “Well, there’s a first time for everything, I suppose.”

He leans forward, and I breathe him in, I can’t help it. The smell of his cologne is dark and heady, and it brings back memories I’ve been trying to push aside ever since I left – ever since I ran. From him. From my family. From everything.

“I never lied aboutus. I never lied about that. And it would’ve been easy for me to just stay away, go someplace safe and never think about you or your family or any of what happened ever again, but I couldn’t. Because I love you. I love you. And this time I’m going to fight, okay? I’m going to fight.”

I believe him. I believethat, but it doesn’t really change anything.

“I thought about you, a lot.” Those words were out before I had a chance to realise what was happening. And as soon as I say them I wish I could take them back, not because they’re not true – they are. I just didn’t want him to know he’s still on my mind. Because he has been. And all I’ve done by telling him this is complicate things even more. And then he smiles at me, and his beautiful blue eyes crinkle slightly around the edges, and I try my hardest not to smile back but my face didn’t get the memo in time.

He starts to reach across the table for my hand but then pulls his back, and I bite down on my lip and turn my head away for a second or two. I need to take a breath. I need a moment.

“Lena, can you look at me? Please?”

I don’t want to. Looking at him is just kicking up shit I can’t feel anymore, I can’t. It wouldn’t be safe, for either of us. But he’s here, he’s sitting right in front of me, and it’s hard. It’s so fucking hard. But I’m scared for him. I’m scared forus.

“Lena?”

“I can’t do this, Jonah.”

That’s the first time I’ve called him by his name. His real name. And I don’t miss the look of surprise on his face, but when he smiles I can’t return it. Not this time. I can’t. There’s nothing to smile about. Just being here – he’s putting himself in so much danger. My father’s looking for him, I know he is, I mean, he hasn’t said as much but I know him too well. Jonah betrayed him. Betrayed his trust. And nobody’s ever done that to my father and come out the other side alive.

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