Page 55 of The Bodyguard

I throw another glance back over my shoulder. Lena’s now chatting animatedly to someone on the next table. She’s all smiles, leaning forward as she listens to the other person talk, she has absolutely no idea of the shit her family’s involved in. I’m absolutely certain of that.

“Keep her close, Bodie. Okay?”

“Isn’t this out of our remit now? If it’s verging on a domestic, that isn’t what we’re here to deal with. If national security isn’t being threatened…”

“We’re working with a number of parties on this one now, more people are being drafted in: the police, MI6, they’ve all been briefed. Because we really don’t know where this is going, like I said, we’re basing everything on assumptions. What wedoknow is that we’re still talking about two very dangerous men – one a known terrorist, someone who’s threatened to attack this country before, and whether either of them intend to hurt anyone other than themselves… We don’t think that’s on the cards, but we still have to treat that as an unknown. So we’re pressing on with the operation, and we still needyouto do your job.”

“What about Ollie Nielsen? Do we know how muchheknows about all of this? Does he know Novak is Lena’s father?”

“Again, we have to assume that he does. He works very closely with his dad, he’s one of his best soldiers.”

I drop my head and shake it. “She has no fucking clue, huh?”

“You’d know that better than we would. Keep her safe, Bodie. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Check in later.”

I end the call, but take a minute before I go back over to Lena.

“Hey. That took a while. Everything alright?”

I slide back into my seat and throw her a smile. “Everything’s fine.”

She looks at me for a moment, and I pray she doesn’t ask me to elaborate, I really don’t want to lie to her any more than I already have to. And now more than ever I think she deserves to know the truth, because none of us have any idea where this is going.

“Look, Lena, what I said before, about you moving back to your own place, I really need you to forget that idea. Please. I shouldn’t have suggested it, and I don’t think there’s any way your father would let it happen…”

“I’m not staying with my parents forever, Bodie. I’m not living with them any longer than I have to, and maybe it’s time I put my foot down, you know? Tell them it’ll be fine;I’llbe fine if I move back home, because I have you. Don’t I?”

She reaches across the table for my hand, and my first instinct is to pull it away, I shouldn’t be encouraging this, but then I remember that when we’re out here, among people she might know, we’re supposed to be a couple. We’re supposed to be together, we need to keep up that pretence. But we’re blurring lines now, and it’s making me fucking uncomfortable. All of this is making me uncomfortable.

“Pretending is as far as it can go, Lena. Do you hear me? What we did, it should never have happened, and I should have been stronger…” I squeeze her hand and look right into her eyes. “But I want you to know that I don’t regret it. Okay? I don’t regret it. But it can’t go any further, it’s too dangerous. I have a job to do and I can’t be distracted. If that happens, I’m putting you at risk, and I don’t want to do that. Ican’tdo that.”

The look in her eyes is like a punch to the gut, and she tries to smile but it’s not a convincing one. “Okay. I get it. I do.”

I keep hold of her hand, our eyes still locked, I want her to understand that this is out of my control. For now. Maybe not forever, I really can’t think that far ahead. Not yet.

“It’s important that we keep doing what we’ve been doing, for a little while longer. And then…” No. I can’t make her any promises, not when I have no idea if I can keep them or not. That wouldn’t be fair on her. It wouldn’t be fair onme.

“And then, what?”

What am I supposed to say to her? That when all of this is over we can stop pretending? We can be together? For real? It isn’t that simple. It may neverbethat simple.

“Let’s just play it by ear. No promises.”

She throws me another disappointed smile. “Okay.” She pulls her hand from mine and checks her watch. “I’ve still got a lot of work to do. We should be getting back to the office.”

“Lena, hold up. Give me a second, please.”

She stands up, but stays put, and I go to her. I reach out and circle her waist, pulling her loosely against me. And I lean into her, my mouth brushing the skin just beneath her ear.

“I need you to trust me, okay?”

I pull back from her, and she looks at me, and she nods. “Okay.”

She knows as well as I do that this game we’re playing now, it’s one massive grey area. Pretending is getting harder to do, and I know I’m way more involved than I should be. The gamehaschanged, there’s no doubt about that, and as much as I’m trying to fight with myself about what happens next, I know what I have to do. And not everybody’s going to like it.

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