Page 93 of Toy Boy

“I didn’t make her any promises…”

“You took my mother from me, stole the last chance I had to say goodbye. Do you know what that’s like? Not being able to say goodbye?”

“I’m so sorry, really I am.”

“I don’t want your apologies. I just want you to know what payback feels like.”

He frowns. “I don’t understand… Look, I’m truly sorry for what happened, I can’t say that enough, and believe me, the guilt I felt after your mother’s death…”

I shake my head, and I’m trying to suppress the growing anger rising up inside me, but it’s hard. I’m struggling here. “It isn’t enough.”

“It’s all I can do. All I can say, I don’t know what else you expect from me.”

“I want you to know what it feels like to have someone you love taken from you.”

He laughs, which I wasn’t expecting, and it catches me slightly off-guard. “I’m assuming you mean Megan.”

He’s not really asking a question, he’s telling me. And yes, I mean Megan. The original plan – my reason for coming here, to Beachcastle Bay, was to confront him. To let him know how I felt, how I would eternally blame him for my mother’s death. But that wasn’t all. I’d always planned on involving Megan, because I knew how he still felt about her. How he wanted her back, how he still loved her, because he’d spoken about her – about Megan – in various interviews since his departure from the hospital in Denmark. He’d mentioned her a lot, leaving me in no doubt about his true feelings for his ex-wife. And the fact he was expressing so much remorse about my mother’s death, it had obviously caused him to think about his life in general. About the things he’d lost. The people he’d fucked with. I’d wanted to make him realise that actions have consequences; that you can’t always have what you want, life isn’t fucking fair. I’d wanted him to see Megan happy, with another man, and know that she was never coming back to him. I’d wanted to mess with his life, cause him real pain, but the last thing I’d expected to do – wanted to do – was to fall in love with her. With Megan. My plan wasn’t supposed to take such an unexpected turn. And now I’m not just fighting for my mother’s memory, I’m fighting for a woman I want, because she’s beautiful and kind and funny, she makes me smile. And I haven’t been doing a lot of that these past few months. Scott Warren doesn’t deserve Megan. He had his chance, and he blew it.

“You’re using Megan to get at me?”

I was. In the beginning. “Not anymore.”

“Not anymore? What is she, exactly? Hmm? Some – I don’t know, a pawn in a sick game of, what? Revenge? You think I killed your mother so you plotted to take my wife…?”

“Ex-wife.”

Her voice causes both of us to spin around, and she’s standing there, just a few metres away, and the look on her face, it hits me hard, like a hammer blow to the head. It fucking sideswipes me.

“How long have you been there?” Scott asks, and she shifts her gaze from him to me. And she holds it, and it breaks my heart.

“Long enough,” she replies, before turning on her heels and going back inside, and I don’t miss a beat, I go after her before he does.

“Megan, wait! Please, wait.”

She stops, but she keeps her back to me for a second, and I look behind me. Scott’s still there, still watching us, and I shake my head in what I hope is a warning shot for him to stay away. I need to talk to Megan, alone. And then she slowly turns around, and her eyes, man, they’re as cold as stone! “You used me?”

“I can explain…”

“You don’t think that’s whathesaid to me every time he tried to talk himself out of shit?” She means Scott, because she jabs a finger somewhere over my shoulder so I’m guessing he’s still there behind me. “I’m done with this, Xander.”

She starts to walk away again, and for some reason I let her go. I watch as she heads back inside the pub, and I turn around and look at Scott. And his expression, yeah, it’s verging on smug. He’ll be happy that she’s pissed at both of us now.

“Looks like she doesn’t want you, either.”

I want to rip his heart out, the way he – literally – tore my mother’s apart. But the fact is, he fixed Megan’s. He saved her life, but that doesn’t give him the right to claim her as some kind of prize.

“You think she owes you?”

“I’m sorry?” The slight hint of a laugh makes me want to hit him, so hard I feel the connection reverberate through my entire body.

“You saved her life. You were her guardian angel, the man who gave her her life back. That’s why she felt drawn to you, she loved you for all the wrong reasons.”

“I’m tired of saying this, but I will, one more time – you know nothing about me and Megan.”

“You think she’s indebted to you? Without you she wouldn’t even be here, is that what you think?” I shake my head and back away. “No. You aren’t doing that to her again, you aren’t going to get the chance.”

“And you think she’s going to listen to you?”

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