Page 59 of Toy Boy

I arch a surprised eyebrow. “Really? Greta practically runs the Trust, I would’ve thought something like this would’ve had to have been run past her first.”

“Greta thinks she’s in charge, but in truth she’s barely around for the day-to-day running of this hospital. She’s more of a figurehead these days, turning up for the gala evenings and the fundraising events, her main focus is charity work now.”

I sit back and cross my arms, frowning slightly. “There was a time when the NHS wasn’t considered a charity.”

“Yes, well, we never say no to any extra help.” Tania unclasps her hands and tucks a strand of red hair behind her ear. “And for all her faults, Greta is incredibly talented at making sure we have some extremely loyal, not to mention very wealthy, donors.”

“Allher faults?” I laugh.

“She doesn’t have the biggest fan club, but I’m sure that’s something you’re very much aware of.” She rests her gaze on mine. “You know, I would never have put her and Tim together. He’s so mild mannered, and she’s so…” She pauses for a moment, and I laugh again, because there’s no good way to end that sentence. “Maybe she wasn’t always like that.”

“She wasn’t.” That’s the truth, actually. When I first met Greta she was this fun-loving, carefree woman who was head-over-heels in love with Tim. And now I’m struggling to remember when all that changed. Not the being in love with Tim part, I’m sure they’re still very happy together, but she doesn’t seem anywhere near as carefree as she did all those years ago. “She used to be quite nice, actually.”

Tania fixes me with a look, and we both burst out laughing.

“I’ll have to take your word for that,” Tania sighs, smoothing her dress down over her thighs, and my eyes once more drop to her legs, but only briefly, before she stands up. “Anyway, will you at least think about it, Scott? About doing the interview? It would really help the hospital. And what you did over there in Denmark…”

“You know what happened, Tania. I lost a patient, my research…”

“Is still extremely valid. The clinic didn’t want to let you go…”

“And this interview, you can guarantee they won’t ask me about all of that? Bring it up? Expect me to justify myself all over again?”

“You weren’t to blame, Scott.”

“What if I don’t want to talk about it?”

“No one was to blame. It was tragic, what happened, every death is tragic, but that patient knew the risks. They knew what could happen.”

I drop my head, and sigh quietly.

“But your research, Scott, that is still incredibly important. It deserves to be talked about, it deserves to be shouted about. And people need to know that we now have that kind of knowledge and expertise back home, in the UK. In Beachcastle Bay, for heaven’s sake! You could’ve stayed in Edinburgh, but you decided to come back home. That says something.”

I could never have stayed in Edinburgh. Big cities, too much attention, I’m over that now. I want a quieter life, that’s why I came back here. That’s why I came home.

“Okay. I’ll think about it.”

She smiles and backs away towards the door. “Good! Thank you! I’ll be in touch.”

I’m sure she will. Ihopeshe will. But whether she gets the answer she wants is another matter, I’m still not sure about putting my head too far above the parapet.

The second Tania closes the door behind her I throw my pen down onto the desk and lean forward, dragging a hand back through my hair, because now I’m alone my head is suddenly filled with images of Megan and Xander, it’s a constant torture that never goes away, when I’m alone. Which is why spending time with Tania is something I may well find myself doing more, but I need her to know that nothing can happen between us. It can’t. It’s too soon for me to give up on Megan, I haven’t fought hard enough, haven’t yet proved to her that I’m not the man I used to be.

I still love Megan.

I still want Megan.

So maybe now it’s time to fight that little bit harder, or risk losing her for good…

Xander

Her distinctive floral perfume fills the back room of the surf shop as she presses her body against mine, her mouth slightly open, her lips warm as we kiss. I’ve been dreaming about this ever since she left my place in the early hours of this morning. She didn’t want to risk being spotted, I get that, but I also don’t think we can keep this – can’t keepusa secret for much longer. Not in a town this size. Not when everyone knows you in the way they all know Megan.

“Are you ashamed of me?” I murmur into her hair – it smells of apple and cinnamon – as her fingers lightly stroke the back of my neck. And then she gently guides my head around so we’re looking at each other, and she frowns, and I can’t help but smile because it actually makes her look cute, that frown.

“Why would I be ashamed of you?”

“Of us, then?”

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