Page 104 of Toy Boy

Megan

I wait until Tania drives away before I even think about getting out of the car. Because I’m still trying to work out why I’m here. Josh would be horrified, Laney would more than likely disown me, but I think I have to do this. I have to get some closure, for all of us. Otherwise we’re all going to be stuck in this impossible limbo.

Sighing quietly, I get out of the car and walk towards Scott’s overly-large house. Does he really need somewhere this big when there’s just him now? Stopping at the bottom of the long, block-paved driveway, I take a breath before I carry on, my heart starting to beat faster the closer I get to his front door. And I could still back away from this, if I wanted to, but I don’t think I do, want to.

Climbing the stone steps that lead up to his front door, I take another breath, and then press the doorbell before I have time to change my mind. But as I pull my hand away, a surge of second thoughts come rushing forward, almost pushing the air from my lungs, but I stand my ground. I’m doing this. And as I hear him unlocking the door, my heart starts to pound even harder, and I push all those second thoughts away, because they’re pointless now. This is happening…

Xander

“Hey! I haven’t seen you around in a while.” I wipe my hands on the cloth hanging from the waistband of my shorts and throw Hanna a smile.

“Well, I’m on a break, and we haven’t really spoken all that much lately and…” She shrugs. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. If you and Megan were okay.”

I walk towards her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Has she said something?”

“Not to me. Not really. But, you know, this is a small town. People spread rumours like wildfire, and after Tim’s party…” She leaves that sentence hanging, and I look out over the packed beach; at the boats in the water, a game of volleyball going on close to the shoreline, where the sand’s slightly firmer. I love it out here. I love ithere. And I never thought I would. I wasn’t supposed to get attached, to anything. Or anyone.

“You shouldn’t listen to gossip,” I say, turning my attention back to her, but she’s dropped her head now.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s fine.”

She looks up at me, and I throw her another smile, I don’t want her to feel bad. Of course people have been talking. It’s what they do.

“I’m still sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. But I genuinely wanted to come and see you, just to say hello.”

“Hello.”

We look at each other for a moment or two, and then we both laugh. Ice broken. Good. I like Hanna, as a friend.

“I brought you something.” She produces a take-out bag from behind her back. “Coffee. I thought you might like one.”

“Thank you.”

I sit down on the edge of the decking and she lowers herself down next to me, albeit a little tentatively. And for a moment or two we just sit and sip our coffee as we stare out over the beach and the ocean, the warm, late afternoon sunshine hitting the back of my neck.

“I saw you in the café, at lunchtime.”

“I came to see Megan.”

Hanna drops her head, and again there’s a part of me that wonders, if things had been different, if I hadn’t fallen for Megan, could Hanna and I have had something? I don’t know what, exactly, but maybe we would’ve spent more time together… No. No, we wouldn’t. Because if I hadn’t fallen for Megan then I would’ve been in full-on revenge mode. All my energy would’ve been focused on Scott Warren, there would’ve been no time for anything else.

“When are you leaving?” She looks up, her eyes meeting mine. “When are you going back to Australia?”

“I don’t know.” I break the stare and glance up at the cloudless blue sky; at a flock of seagulls flying past, their screeches loud and shrill, but it’s a noise I’ve gotten used to over the past few weeks. I’ve gotten used to a lot of things. “I guess I’ll wait and see how things pan out before making any concrete decisions.”

“By things, do you mean Megan?”

I look at her, and she raises her gaze. “My decision will be based on a lot of things, Hanna.”

“Megan said you were about to start another college course. Another degree?”

“It’s an online course. Something I can do anywhere in the world.”

“Don’t you miss Australia?”

I shrug, stare out ahead of me again, and take another sip of coffee. “To be honest, it was never really home. Sweden was. It always will be. More so now my mom’s gone, it’s where all my best memories are. But, yeah, I suppose Idomiss Queensland, a little. The weather, the lifestyle, and my job over there, it’s a dream career. Something I worked damn hard for, that’s why my mom pushed for me to stay over there, when I should’ve been with her.”

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