Page 102 of Toy Boy

“I’ll meet you there.”

She digs her car keys from her bag and backs off towards her own car parked opposite mine. “I’ll get the drinks in.”

I watch her get in her car and drive off down the long, winding road that leads to the club’s exit, and for a moment I just stand there, and let my mind wander. For a fleeting moment there, when Tania’s hand held mine and we were talking, I didn’t once think about Megan. I didn’t once feel like she was there, in the forefront of my mind, where she’s been for so long. Too long. But now I’ve put her back there, and that’s what I’m struggling to deal with…

Xander

It’s a stunning day, weather wise. Blue skies, a packed beach, and I’ve already given four surf lessons since breakfast. It’s good to be out on the water, riding the waves, it clears the head. Gives you time to get all your shit into line. I’ve been out here, down on the beach, since just before sunrise, and surprisingly I wasn’t the only one – a couple of early morning runners, someone walking their dog before work, I guessed, and me.

Leaning back against the wall of the surf shop, I reach for my can of soda and take a swig, I’ve spent the past hour or so working on a couple of new boards and I could do with a break. Checking the time I see it’s just gone one-thirty, and right on cue my stomach lets out the loudest rumble, but I’m not overly hungry, despite my stomach’s protestations.

It’s been days now, since the party. Since Megan found out the whole truth, since I confronted Scott Warren. Something that was supposed to make me feel a whole lot better about losing my mom, but it hasn’t. I haven’t gained that satisfaction I thought would miraculously appear the moment I let him know exactly who I was. I don’t feel better, I feel no satisfaction at all, and I know why. Scott Warren has ceased to be important. Yes, I wanted him to know who I was, I wanted him to know I was angry; that I blamed him for what happened to my mother, but other than that… I don’t care. I don’t. Hating him isn’t worth the energy it would waste, he knows who I am now. I’ve reignited his guilt, that’s enough for me. Whatisimportant is Megan. And I haven’t seen her in days. I could’ve called her, but I felt like she wanted the ball left in her court, so that’s what I’ve done. I’ve taken a step back, and I’ve waited. But I can’t wait forever. I have to make a decision, I have a life back home in Australia. But that’s a life I’m quite willing to change, if there’s somewhereelse I’d rather be. Someone else I’d rather be with. I just need to know if they want to be with me, too…

Megan

“There we are. Two toasted ham and cheese sandwiches, a side salad, and an order of fries. If you need anything else just give Iona or me a shout. Enjoy your lunch.”

It’s been a hectic few days, thanks to the beautiful weather. It’s brought another influx of visitors to our little seaside town – to my café – as well as the locals looking for some fresh air and food they don’t have to cook themselves.

“I can manage now, Megan.” Iona dumps a pile of empty dishes onto the counter and hands Graham another order. “The lunchtime rush should die down soon, if you want to get out of here for a little while.”

“I’m enjoying myself.”

Iona throws me the side-eye. “Seriously? You enjoy this?”

“It keeps me busy.”

“Do you need to be kept busy?”

“I do.” Hanna slides a burger, a chili chicken wrap and a plate of fries through the serving hatch, and I go over to collect them. “I’ll take these. You get those dirty dishes into the kitchen and see if they need any help in there.”

I pick up the food, check which table it’s going to, and head outside to deliver it to its recipients. And when I see who’s sitting at the table the order belongs to, I realise I should’ve let Iona do her job.

“This is all for you?”

I arch a brow as I place both plates down in front of Xander. And he looks up at me and smiles and I feel my heart do a little dance, yeah, really, that’s exactly how it feels.

“I’m a growing boy.”

“I think you’ve done all the growing you’re going to do.”

We’re acting like the other night didn’t happen, because it’s easier that way. Easier to pretend he hasn’t got to me, that he doesn’t matter, he’s going home soon anyway, isn’t he? It’s safer to act that way than to get too attached and ultimately end up hurt.

He looks down at his food and picks up a handful of French fries, shovelling them into his mouth before he takes a massive bite out of the burger. “I swear, not ten minutes ago I didn’t even feel hungry, but now I could eat half the menu. No word of a lie. And this is great, by the way. Perfect seasoning.”

I smile as I look right into his eyes, because he’s thinking the same as me. This isn’t really what we want to talk about, and it’s quite obvious he’s come here to see me, at least, I’m sure it is. I haven’t seen him around for days, but then, I’ve been actively avoiding him, along with Laney’s questions, they’re becoming relentless. But I can only do that – I can only avoid both of those things for a limited amount of time. And time’s up for one of them.

“I needed to see you, Megan. And I know you wanted some space, and you’d probably have preferred it ifyou’ddecided when the time was right for us to talk again, but, I don’t have a whole lot of time left here now. Ray’s due back soon, and I’ve got things I need to sort out, so…”

I don’t know where he’s going with this. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to think, I just know that I’d rather this wasn’t happening here, in full glare of the Beachcastle Bay residents. My staff. A whole heap of tourists.

“Can we do this another time? I’m kind of busy, and this isn’t really the place…” I leave that sentence hanging, because I don’t think I need to finish it.

“Sure. Of course we can.”

I’m about to walk away, but then I hesitate for a moment before pulling out the chair opposite him and sitting down. Fuck it! Everyone knows we’re – what? Whatarewe, exactly? I still don’t know. We’ve spent time together. Slept together. But then I remember that all of this – me, Xander’s involvement with me, it was all just part of a plan to get to Scott.

“I still have so much to say to you, Megan.”

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