Page 89 of Beautiful Dangerous

While you plan your escape?

Yes…

Javier smiles again, his eyes still fixed on mine as he carefully pushes a lock of hair away from my face. “No, we don’t have to rush into anything. There’s plenty of time.”

He says that as though he means it, but I’m not sure that he does.

“Maybe talk to Celine though, hmm? You know she would love to help you organize something like this. Besides, she needs to be involved, she’ll be doing the food.”

He drops a quick kiss on my forehead and lets go of me, checking his watch.

“I have to go. Lucca’s getting the car ready, we have meetings in town all morning.” He slides his hands into his pockets and flashes me one last smile. Deep down inside I still love this man, I do, but I’m finding it so hard to see past the lies and the deceit and the fact that while he was away, I fell in love with another man.

Lucca lied to you, too, remember?

Lucca lied, too…

“When I get home, we’ll talk. Okay? You can let me know how things are going.”

And that’s it. He goes back inside; back to work like he didn’t fake his own death, leave me alone for two years, and even now, with all his promises of the two of us running this cartel together, he’s still the one calling the shots.

This used to be my life.

I used to love this life.

Did you, really?

You loved the man, the life was just something that came with him, something you got used to because you had to, if you wanted to be with him…

I used to love Javier Delgado with every beat of my fucked-up heart.

I used to…

Lucca

It’s only just gone eight-thirty in the morning but already the casino is busy with people who probably don’t even know what day it is, never mind what time. But it’s those poor bastards who keep us afloat. We need the weak and the vulnerable; the gamblers and the drinkers, it’s their money that helps us wash ours.

Leaning back against the bar, I watch as Javier surveys the casino floor, his hands in his pockets, his air of authority unmistakable, it’s like he’s never been away. And there’s a part of me that wishes he hadn’t. If he’d stayed, I would’ve learnt to push those feelings I had – have – for Olivia away completely, forget they existed, I would’ve had no choice, if he’d been here. But instead I allowed them to grow. To become something more than they ever had any right to be, even when I knew he was always coming back. I was weak. I was so fucking weak…

“After this I’d like to go to The Beach Bay Resort.”

Javier’s voice pulls me back from my reverie, and I fall right back into faithful lieutenant mode.

“I have a lunch meeting with the new mayor. Getting him on-side early can only benefit us. And him.”

The Beach Bay Resort was the first hotel the Delgado cartel built this side of the border, right on the coast, with incredible views and a reputation for affordable luxury. It’s another one of our genuinely legitimate cartel businesses, but I know Javier’s looking to create more of those. Eventually. Maybe he has a plan to go completely legit, one day, I don’t know. Maybe this is his plan to try and create a more “normal” life for him, Olivia, and this child he wants to being into this fucked-up excuse of a world.

Over my dead body.

Be careful what you wish for…

Javier positions his cufflinks and straightens his jacket collar, sliding a hand around behind his back, he’s checking his gun is there. He won’t need it in here, in the casino – or he shouldn’t – this is our territory, anyone who causes any shit in here more than likely won’t be walking out.

“Then we’ll drive to the compound, make sure everything’s running smoothly over there.”

“I thought Olivia was going to see Eddie this morning?”

“She is.”

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