Page 87 of Beautiful Dangerous

I frown, because that isn’t unusual, he rarely sleeps in his bed as it is. “Why is that strange?”

Celine shrugs and returns her focus to the eggs cooking away on the stove. “Now Javier is back, it seems odd that Lucca would stay out all night, it isn’t like him. What if Javier had needed him?”

But Javier didn’t need him, and Lucca knew that. “He hasn’t come back to the house yet?”

Celine shrugs and empties the scrambled eggs into a huge bowl. “I don’t know.” She picks up the bowl and a couple of plates, grabs a serving spoon, and puts them on a small trolley along with a plate piled high with toast, mugs and a pot of coffee. “I’ll just take these to Jorge and the boys outside. Then I’ll start your breakfast.”

“No, Celine, let me cook my own breakfast. Please.”

She cocks her head, but she’s smiling. “Okay. But you know you’ll never make eggs as good as mine.”

I laugh as I start to crack some into a mixing bowl. “Maybe not. But I really would like to do a little bit of cooking for myself today. It can be quite therapeutic sometimes. You go and concentrate on the men.”

“Alright, but don’t you go messing up my kitchen now.”

She says that with her tongue very firmly in her cheek, and I laugh again. It might be our house – mine and Javier’s – but this kitchen is very much Celine’s. She just lets us use it every now and again.

The second I’m alone, I no longer feel hungry. Lucca didn’t come home last night? I didn’t even know he’d left the estate. Where did he go? Who was he with? All kinds of thoughts start to form in my already messed-up head, but I can’t let them win over. I can’t let those feelings show.

Leaving the eggs uncooked I go out onto the terrace. Celine’s already tidied up the dinner debris from last night, everything’s back to normal now. And I glance over at Javier’s chair underneath the tree, there’s a newspaper on the arm, and an empty coffee mug on the ground. He’s already been out here this morning, doing what he used to do most mornings before he “disappeared”. I used to love watching him sit there, reading his paper and sipping his coffee, those brief moments of normality that made it feel like we were just another ordinary couple.

You were never just an ordinary couple.

You never will be…

I leave everything as it is and go over to the wall that snakes around the edge of the terrace. I look out over the ocean, it’s another beautiful day. The sun’s shining, the sky’s bright blue and almost cloud-free, and even though it’s still relatively early there’s a gentle heat already hitting the back of my neck.

“You alright?”

I spin around at the sound of his voice, just the sight of him both excites me and terrifies me. He’s a risk I should never have taken, but I’m all in now. I can’t get out of this fucked-up mess we’re creating.

“Celine said you didn’t come home last night.”

Lucca moves out of the doorway and comes toward me, and with every step he takes I feel my heart start to beat that little bit faster, that fear in my belly intensifying. Javier is inside, and that’s too close for comfort.

“I just needed some space. Seeing you and Javier…” He stops talking, drops his head, and drags a hand though his hair, his shoulders tensing. “I went to the clubhouse. Stayed there last night.” He raises his gaze and moves closer to me. Too close, probably, but I guess we’re taking more and more risks now. But we shouldn’t. We really shouldn’t. “I couldn’t be here, Liv. I just – I couldn’t.”

I want to reach out and touch his rough jawline, cup his face, I want to kiss him until our mouths bleed, feel his arms wrap around me, but instead I cross my arms against my chest to stop me from doing any of that.

“Last night, he wanted to talk about renewing our vows. Starting a new chapter. Having a baby…”

I trail off, and Lucca’s expression, it breaks my heart, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how we can change what’s happening here.

“I don’t want any of that, Lucca. Not with him, not anymore. And I’m scared.”

Everything I once felt for Javier – an overwhelming love that’s all consuming – I’m now feeling for Lucca. It’s real and it’s terrifying and it isn’t going away.

He sits down on the wall, turning his head to look out over the ocean. And for a few moments he says nothing. Neither of us do, but the silence hangs heavy in the air, and every inch of me is on red alert, waiting for Javier to appear, to sense that something isn’t right. All it’s going to take is one wrong move, one careless second, and everything changes. It’s over.

“You spoke to Angel.”

That isn’t a question, and he doesn’t look at me when he speaks, he keeps his eyes focused on the ocean.

“I’m sorry, I just…”

There’s no excuse, not really. Involving someone else, it wasn’t a good idea. But, technically, Angel involved himself. He brought the subject up.

Yes, butyoustill should’ve shut him down…

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